The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 08: Mama Does the Dishes

Mama washes the dishes in the kitchen and wonders if the blood stain that will not wash off is a clue to what Pegasus really is.

Scene 08: Mama Does the Dishes

As Mama carefully washed and dried the dinner dishes, she could not stop herself from looking at her right hand. Even after a soak in the hot dishwater, the purple stain on her thumb persisted. It wasn’t like an ordinary blood stain, or like ordinary blood—not like she used to wash off her father’s hands when he got hurt at work. She stared at it and wondered if she had ever heard of a horse with purple blood. The word ichor kept running through her mind. She used to know what the word meant, but she could not bring it to mind. She promised herself that she would look it up as soon as possible. It was a clue about the horse. She knew that.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 07: Karen Falls Asleep in the Garage with Pegasus

Karen and Pegasus continue bonding, as they realize that they were made for each other.

Scene 07: Karen Falls Asleep in the Garage with Pegasus

After supper, Karen hurried back to the garage so she check on her beloved Arabian. She looked closely at his back. The lavender scab still covered the wound.

“I’m back, Pegasus, I’m back,” she whispered. “How are you feeling? You didn’t say anything about being wounded.”

“I did not want to worry you, Kitten. When the workers pulled out my pole, it was the worst pain I had ever felt—far worse than when the boy slashed my hoof with his knife. It did not come out easily. One of them had to hold onto me while the other one pulled. Not only did it hurt, physically, but as it came free, I realized that never again would I be part of a carousel. Nevermore would I gallop with the other horses. Nevermore would I carry girls and boys on my back and away from their cares. Only the hope of reuniting with you kept my heart beating. Without that hope and purpose, I would have broken into pieces and died on the floor of the abandoned hippodrome.”

“Oh, Pegasus! I can feel exactly what you mean. You have made the ultimate sacrifice for me. You have given up your immortality and become a living, wounded horse for me.”

“Kitten, finding and fulfilling my purpose as your spiritual mentor makes any amount of suffering bearable. Being with you is a joy. Rest easy. The pain is bearable, and your touch will heal me. Let us speak no more of this, for now. Let us enjoy each other’s spiritual presence and gather our strength for tomorrow.”

Karen sobbed. Just as she had felt his physical pain when she had laid her hands on his wound, she now felt his emotional suffering at the prospect of giving up life on his beloved carousel. At the same time, she felt his joyous sense of purpose. Just as he was made to be her spiritual mentor, she was made to be his student. Exhausted, she sat on the floor at his feet. He lowered his head to nuzzle her.

Through the evening, she fought to stay awake, but her eyes got heavier and heavier. Periodically, they closed and she fought to reopen them. In the end, her weariness won. Karen fell into a deep slumber.

Having Pegasus near has made everything all right again.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 06: Karen Shares Her Day with Mama

Now that little Karen has regained her vitality and rescued Pegasus, the story continues on a positive note, as Mama commits to caring for the horse.

Scene 06: Karen Shares Her Day with Mama

As they ate their spaghetti, Karen told Mama all about what happened. The only part she kept to herself was about Pegasus talking. She kept her promise of secrecy to him. Mama listened carefully and promised to look for a stable in the morning, someplace close by so Kitten could visit him every day. Karen was relieved that Mama accepted Pegasus and was willing to take on the responsibility of caring for him.

With Hope in My Heart, an article I wrote for Audacity Magazine

Recently, my friend Nathasha Alvarez asked me to write an article for her online Audacity Magazine. I was delighted because memories of the struggles I went through to get an education in the 1970s, when inclusion was not an ideal that many people or organizations strove for, often fill my mind, and I want to share my struggle and my victory.

Here are the beginning and ending paragraphs of my article. (If you want to read the whole thing, then click here to read it on Audacity Magazine.)

In the pre-ADA era, while struggling for inclusion and putting forth an unending effort, a leader in her own quiet way took on the system with no help from anyone beyond her immediate family and friends. She had cerebral palsy and dyslexia, and was in for the fight of her life.

Here are some insights into that person’s heart and soul. Throughout her life, the purpose of her struggle was to be viewed as the equal, capable person she was. This was difficult in a society ruled by stereotypes and prejudices, and that expected people like herself to be content to live out their days in institutions. But she was not content. She was me, Karen….

Let us dig deep into our hearts to find kindness and caring from within. Let us share it with others and give true support with unconditional acceptance to one another.

My question to you is: What can you bring to the table in support of disability rights and inclusion?

If you liked what you just read, then click here to read the full article, and remember to subscribe to Audacity Magazine! It’s one of my favorite reads, and it will be yours, too!

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 05: Mama Meets Pegasus

We have been building up to this scene, and finally Pegasus has broken free from the carousel. It was a good life for him, but a limited life, a life limited to running in a frozen posture as the pole that ran through his heart lifted and lowered him to the music, and the children climbed onto and off of his saddle. It was a life devoted to giving pleasure to thousands of children and their parents, but it was not his true mission. Now that he has been freed from the brass pole and the merry-go-round, he must submit to the realities of life as a mortal. Even though his body remains tiny and wooden, he must hold fast to his vision of himself as the spiritual mentor of the little girl Karen, who rescued him and whose mother now holds his life in her loving hands.

Scene 05: Mama Meets Pegasus

In the garage, Karen watched Mama stare down at Pegasus and realized how tiny he was—just her Kitten size, even shorter than Mama. He did not speak but remained silent, like an ordinary horse except for his small size, extraordinary coloring and wooden appearance. Then came a long, thoughtful silence.

“So, this is Pegasus,” Mama said. “He’s very pretty, isn’t he? May I touch him?”

“Yes, Mama, but remember to be gentle with horses.”

Karen watched as Mama smiled and slowly stroked his mane. She ran her hand over his back. She slipped her thumb into the hole where his pole had been and rocked him back and forth. He shifted from side to side with her push and pull, and his eyes moved nervously.

“He’s too big and heavy for you to have carried him home, isn’t he?” she asked.

“Oh, yes, Mama. I actually rode him all the way from the far end of the pier to our driveway.”

“Without any help? No one carried you in a truck?”

“No, Mama. When I could not see into the hippodrome, I walked to the end of the pier. I followed my intuition, Mama, like you always say, and it lead me there after I looked for him everywhere else on the pier. I called his name into the wind. Somehow he heard me. And just earlier today, the workers who were dismantling the carousel had removed his pole so he could put his feet onto the ground. Or, I mean they didn’t intend that, but it let him get his feet on the ground so he could run. Later, one of them left a door open, so when he heard me call his name, he could escape, and he did!”

Mama jerked her hand away from the hole and glared at her thumb. It was stained purple.

“He’s hurt. How did this happen?”

Karen looked closely at his back. In the dark, she had not seen the circular wound. It was bigger around than a silver dollar.

“It’s where his pole went, Mama. I didn’t see it outside in the dark, and he didn’t say anything. I mean, I really didn’t notice.”

Instinctively, she lifted her weak left hand with her strong right. She placed them both over the gaping hole, the left directly on his skin and the strong right on top to protect the weak left. In her heart, she felt pain as if she had been run through by a lance. Her eyes rolled up, and for a moment, she felt her knees give way, but then a deep feeling of well-being pushed the pain away, and she regained her strength. Opening her eyes, she saw that Mama was holding her.

“Did you just faint?” Mama asked. “This horse business is too much for you! It has to stop!”

Karen squeezed Pegasus’ back, the wound on his back, with both her hands and pulled herself up to her full height.

“No,” she said. “This horse business is just beginning. It’s healing me, and it’s healing Pegasus.”

She lifted her hands from her horse’s back and gently removed Mama’s hands from herself. She could stand tall on her own. She pointed to the wound, and as they stared at the hole in the horse’s back, it closed and healed except for a lavender scab and a drop of purple ichor.

For a moment, Mama froze. A cold chill ran down her back, undefinable, but she understood more deeply than before. Her sixth sense enlightened her as she touched the crust with the tip of her finger.

“He looks like he’s going to be all right, but I’m not so sure about you. Let’s just keep an eye on this wound. He can stay in the garage for tonight, but tomorrow we must start looking for a stable straight away. We can’t leave him here for long. It’s just not good for a horse. He needs food, water, and proper shelter. Plus, he needs a place to roam.”

“I know, Mama. I completely understand. I feel the same way. I’ve thought about that myself. As much as I love having him close to me, I know a garage is no place for a horse.”

“Why don’t you come inside, now, and have your dinner, Krana Layala? You can tell me all about your day, and we can decide on the best way to take care of your horse.”

As Karen followed Mama out of the garage, she looked back at Pegasus and wondered if Mama really were okay with her bringing him home, especially after that long period of silence and the cross-examination.

After all, it’s not like I brought home a stray kitten or puppy. This is my spiritual mentor.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 04: Karen Tells Mama She Brought Pegasus Home

Imagine her mother’s surprise when little Karen runs into the kitchen and announces that she has brought her magical horse home with her. But wait! She gets an even bigger surprise in the next scene, so stay tuned…

Scene 04: Karen Tells Mama She Brought Pegasus Home

When Karen ran into the kitchen, she found Mama stirring a large pot on the stove. It smelled wonderful, but she did not want to take time to ask what was in it. She knew she would enjoy it for dinner, very soon.

“Mama, do you remember how I told you about the carousel being torn down and my magical horse, Pegasus, being thrown onto a heap with the other horses? Well, the note you left me, last night, made me feel stronger! So, I went to the carousel after school, today, and Pegasus found me!”

“Mazel tov! What do you mean? Found you? Where?”

With disquietude tearing her heart, Karen revealed, “At the pier he heard my voice, and he came directly to me. He’s outside in the garage, now. He’s there only until we find a suitable stable for him. Okay, Mama?”

“Sure, darling, that’s fine, I think. Let’s go out to the garage and take a look. I want to make sure he’s okay, there.”

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 03: Pegasus Waits

When Karen leaves Pegasus alone in the garage, he has his first opportunity to reflect on himself, on his purpose in life, and on what his fate might be. No longer an immortal carousel horse, he wonders what mortal life will bring.

Scene 03: Pegasus Waits

Pegasus watched his Kitten disappear through the narrow door, and he reflected on his situation. He had come alive to be of spiritual service, but he had not thought through the inevitabilities of mortality. He was no longer a wooden horse that could exist forever with a minimum of care and an occasional coat of paint. He rubbed his left front hoof against the smooth concrete floor. He had never felt anything like that, before. His leg moved at his will. It was not locked into a galloping position. He could put his feet wherever he wanted them.

He stretched his neck and let out the loudest whinny he could. Then, he asked himself why he had done that. Did he want his Kitten to come back? Could he exist on his own? His body not only felt different from how it had always felt, but uncomfortable. His feeling for himself had always been muted, and his weight had always ridden on the pole. Now that he could feel the weight of the little girl on his back and experience the flow of his muscles as he carried her, and now that he could feel the ground beneath his feet, he wondered what would come, next. If he had come alive to be of spiritual service to her, what would happen to him when she grew too old to believe in carousel horses? Or would that day ever come?

He found himself reflexively taking another deep breath and blowing hard through his nostrils, just as he had seen real horses do when his carousels had shared amusement park space with horseback rides.

I’m snorting. What next?

A Letter to President Joe Biden

Are you like me? Do your disabilities keep you from benefiting from conventional medical treatment? As you know, my disabilities began with a DPT shot that put my little infant body into a coma, and when I woke up I had CP and dyslexia. Since then, I have had much more success dealing with ongoing health problems by using alternative treatments, since the conventional ones often make me even sicker. The catch is that even though I have health insurance, it does not cover what I need. It covers only what makes me worse.

Yesterday, I mailed a letter to President Biden (cc: all my federal and state elected officials) pointing this out. I think he’s a great president. I support his many efforts to make life better for all Americans and for many people around the world. Now, I hope he will put some of his energy into getting us all the healthcare that we need.

If you have some thoughts on this, please share them with me.

Letter to President Biden

Dear President Biden,

My name is Karen Lynn-Chlup. I am pleased to have supported you throughout the years and to have voted for you in the last election.

I am a disability rights advocate, an inspirational speaker, and the author of The Broken Hoof. In 1979, I won the first Civil Rights case under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. This enabled me to go to college. Since then, my victory has opened the doors to higher education for thousands of disabled people across the country.

That being said, I am writing to ask you to continue the wonderful work you are doing to change government policies so that they help all people with disabilities, not only in the workplace, but in healthcare and education alike.

There are not enough laws to protect us. Too often, we are minimalized, taken advantage of, and not taken at our word. We need policies that care for, defend, and secure the needs and choices of individuals with disabilities.

I would not be paralyzed today if a doctor had listened to my mother, seventy years ago, when she told him that I had run a fever after my first DPT shot. He did not listen, I almost died from the second shot, and I have been disabled since then.

It is vital that sound advice replace arbitrary judgments. I know my body’s limitations far better than anyone else does. My understanding should not be overruled or dismissed. It should be taken seriously to help heal not hurt. Refusal to consider integrative medicine for those who are sensitive and cannot eat certain foods or take drugs and herbs is causing people like me to get sicker, not better. Then, I have to pay out of pocket, even though I have insurance, to get treatment elsewhere. Plus, it is making it very difficult to consult with a doctor on getting the appropriate care or vaccination.

I am confident that under your leadership things will continue to improve. If you would like to talk further, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.

Sincerely yours,

Karen Lynn-Chlup

Home

cc: Senator Dianne Feinstein, Senator Alex Padilla, Representative Ted Lieu, Governor Gavin Newsom, Senator Benjamin Allen, Assembly Member Al Muratsuchi

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8, Scene 02: Karen Hides Pegasus in the Garage

Karen continues to show good judgment, as she hides Pegasus in her mother’s garage and then leaves to get help from her Mama.

Scene 02: Karen Hides Pegasus in the Garage

Once at home, Karen rode her stallion down the driveway, around Mama’s parked Chevy, and into the garage. Reaching up, she pulled down the handle of the overhead door. With it closed, no one could see him. He would be safe for now.

A concrete-floor garage with no windows except for the little one in the side door was not what she wanted for Pegasus. She needed Mama’s help to find a better place.

“Stay here for a minute, boy, while I go talk to Mama. You’ll be shielded and protected here.”

The Healing Horse, Ch. 8: Trotting Home, Scene 01: Trotting Home

After the long slog through the woes of the last chapter, Karen’s determination and loyalty to Pegasus pay off. She rescues him from the ruined hippodrome! She instantly realizes they need to get off the pier and back to her house, and she directs him which way to go.

Scene 01: Trotting Home

Kitten jumped up onto Pegasus’ back. For a sweet moment, she stroked his soft mane with her right hand before grasping his reins.

“We have to get out of here,” she said. “Go straight up the pier to the ramp, then we can take a special horse path to my house. Don’t say another word. We have to keep your talking a secret!”

Pegasus looked back and up at her. His eyes were wide. Silently, he carried Kitten through the dense Friday night crowd. As people stepped out of the way to let them pass, Karen and Pegasus heard gasps of surprise.

“I didn’t know horses were allowed on the pier!” a man said. A woman’s voice replied, “That must be a special horse. It’s so tiny, and look at those amazing colors!”

As soon as they passed under the arched sign at the top of the pier, the crowd thinned and Pegasus broke into a trot. Karen directed him to a horse path that ran parallel to the main street of town. Block after block, they trotted with a quiet inner gusto and gladness. Pegasus’ hooves resonated sweetly as they struck the dirt of the trail. No one else was on the path, so they relaxed and spoke freely about their time apart. Pegasus told Karen how much he had missed talking with her.

“I really don’t know what I would have done, either, Kitten, especially knowing that I came to life to be of spiritual service to you. I have been trying to get out of that awful abandoned hippodrome, where they left us. Without the calliope and lights, and with the windows boarded up, it was cold and dreary. No one took care of us. We were just left lying in a heap. I heard your voice calling me from time to time, but I could not call back to you in front of the other horses, and there wasn’t any way for me to escape. Then, today, the workers removed my pole, and I could get my feet on the ground. At the end of the day, one of them left the back door open, too. So, when I heard you calling me, I did not hesitate at all, though the prospect of living away from a carousel is a bit daunting to me.

“I’m supposedly only a merry-go-round horse that takes children for fantasy rides on a carousel, but here I am trotting up a lane in the real world. Remember, we can’t spill our secret to anyone. I’m a little nervous about being away from the carousel, but my destiny is to be with you and not to go back.”

“Okay, Pegasus. Mama knows a little about you, but not about your talking or your spiritual role in my life. We can keep it that way.”