The Healing Horse, Ch 17., Scene 6: Walking Home with Compassion

Painting of young boy sitting with old man on lilly pad.

In this scene, Karen and Mama walk home. Karen reflects on her experience of being trampled, but rather than finding anger in her heart, she finds love, compassion, and the inspiration to share them. Most people do not think of compassion as a traditional Jewish value, but it is. Here is a link to a beautiful article by the late Jay Litvin who, along with doing many other good works, took a leading role in airlifting children from the area contaminated by the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. (I found the image on the page by Jay Litvin, but it is in a lot of places on the internet, so I assume it is in the public domain. Thanks to whoever painted it.)

Scene 6: Walking Home with Compassion

Mama and Karen said goodbye to the dazed Mrs. Proctor.

“My Krana Layala, those kids ran right over you. Should I carry you? Can you walk?” Mama asked.

Karen’s body hurt all over, but she said, “Yes they did, Mama, but I’ll be okay. I’m just a little bruised. I’ll feel better when we start walking.”

Hand in hand, they left the schoolyard through the same gate by which they had entered. As she had predicted, the pain lessened during the short walk to the gate.

Alone on the sidewalk with Mama, and unobserved by anyone but her mother, Karen let her tears return. She could not believe that what had just occurred had been real, that not one child had cared enough to stop and help her. They all kept running for their candy.

She heaved for more air, the emotional shock more painful than her physical wounds. The unwillingness of others to give up their pursuit of candy when someone was suffering and clearly needed help had shattered and shaken her.

Is this what people think life is about—instant selfish gratification from chocolate, regardless of the human cost? What kind of a world do I live in? How could people hurt other people like this? Is a handful of chocolate more important than a human life? What about kindness and compassion? What about empathy and sympathy? Have we all forgotten how to treat each other? Somehow we have to stop being mean and insensitive. Our greed is out of control.

In her memory, she saw the stampede from above, as if she were looking down from the sky. She lay, a small trampled figure beneath the stampede of older, non-disabled children. The compassionate Mrs. Proctor stood helpless with Mama watching the event unfold.

Conscience awakened, she vowed that she would never ignore someone who needed help. She would teach, demonstrate, and convey the lesson she had learned, today. Manifesting selflessness, she would give compassion and kindness to all. Inhaling, exhaling, composing herself, she vowed, I will be the enlightened one. I will awaken others. I will teach in a way that no one has taught before.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 17, Scene 5: Mama to the Rescue

Drawing of traditional circular life preserver in red

In this scene, the kids have just trampled over little Karen, but she stands up on her own and insists that she would rather endure a trampling than spend her days at home and in fear of life. Mama thinks she has to be Karen’s life preserver, but Karen says she can learn to swim, figuratively speaking. In Karen’s mind, she would rather risk anything than give in to fear and limiting beliefs about what she can do. (Illustration courtesy of Fosnez, Matma Rex, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Scene 5: Mama to the Rescue

She felt herself become safe, again, as Mama surrounded her with her arms and pulled her close. With safety came more tears from Karen and from her mother.

“Are you okay, my Krana Layala? Are you okay, my baby?” Mama asked. “I was surprised when you asked to come. I should’ve said no.”

“I’m okay, Mama, and you did right to let me come. I want to live life. I don’t want to stay home out of fear of being hurt,” Karen sobbed, holding up her burning left hand for Mama to kiss and make well.

“The children stampeded,” said Mrs. Proctor. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”

“This is my fault,” added Mama. “I shouldn’t’ve put Karen right in the middle and in front. I should’ve put her at one of the ends, so the others wouldn’t have to run over her.”

“Yes, but the children still should not have run over her.”

“I know,” sighed Mama, “but they’re children. They got over-excited about the chocolate. It was like the rush when a piñata cracks open. Karen got trampled. When I saw them lining up behind my daughter, I should’ve thought faster. I should’ve foreseen what could happen. I should’ve been quicker to see what was about to happen. Just like when the doctor gave her the shot, I wasn’t thinking of the possible consequences fast enough to stop him.”

Karen got to her feet, and watched as Mama quickly examined her. She knew her knees were scratched, and both her hands were bruised, but she was glad when Mama said she did not have any broken bones. She felt herself become calmer, and her tears stopped.

Looking up at Mama and Mrs. Proctor, she said, “Don’t worry. I’ll survive.”

“Karen,” Mrs. Proctor said, “Let me get you something to make you feel better. I’ll get you some of the treasure for your very own. Would you like that?”

Karen smiled and nodded her head, as Mrs. Proctor hurried away. Mama continued holding her, soothing her hurts. In a moment, Mrs. Proctor returned with a small brown paper bag.

“Kitten, here’s some of the treasure, just for you!”

Karen reached toward the bag and then paused, looking up at her mother for permission. Mama nodded and told her to go ahead. She took the bag and thanked Mrs. Proctor. The bag was filled with chocolate kisses and bite-size chocolate bars, all covered in gold or jewel-tone foil. Karen fought back more tears. This was her prize. This was what the other children had trampled her to get—not jewels, not gold–just chocolate. She thought about how hard Mama worked to feed her and to pay their mortgage. Chocolates were not going to help Mama. This was not real treasure, and yet the other children had stomped over her to get to it. She thanked Mrs. Proctor and said she would like to go home.

National Disabilities Employment Month (NDEAM)

Last month was National Disabilities Employment Awareness Month. I didn’t post about because I didn’t feel I had much new I could add to the conversation. I’d already written about my own struggles finding suitable employment, my battle with the State of California so I could go to college, and the discrimination I faced as an adult with CP and dyslexia who, for obvious reasons, did not do well on written tests. If you missed reading about this part of my life, you can get the story here (and, yes, that’s a snapshot of me with my new college diploma).

Today, I do have something new to add to the discussion about disabilities and employment. Barry Franklin of CounselingSchools.org wrote me a few days ago and asked me to promote some of the information that his organization is trying to get out to people with disabilities, and especially to students with disabilities. To start, they have an interview with Aaron Konopasky, PhD, JD (yes–a doctorate and he’s an attorney–good guy to have on our side!) Here’s a bit about him, quoted from the Counseling Schools website:

Aaron Konopasky, PhD, JD has served as a senior attorney-advisor for the EEOC for 11 years. In addition to his work developing federal regulations and providing sub-regulatory guidance, Konopasky coordinates with other federal agencies on equal employment opportunity requirements. He also does public outreach and training on the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and other nondiscrimination laws such as the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act (GINA), the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA), and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Finally, here is a link to the interview. The focus is on mental health conditions, but the thinking applies to any kind of disability. To quote, Aaron Konopasky, again:

To have a disability is to have a major life activity substantially limited in the absence of treatment and other medicating measures. That’s also during an active episode, so if you have something that comes and goes, you’re supposed to evaluate it when it’s present.

CounselingSchools.org has also published a number of comprehensive Guides and Interviews to to help all students in their journey to gaining a degree.

Just for future reference, I added some links to Counseling Schools and to the EEOC to the Whispers of Hope Special Needs Resources page.

Onward we go! Remember what I always tell people. If Karen can do it, you can do it, too! I’ll be by your side all the way!

Karen

The Healing Horse, Ch 17., Scene 4: Trampled

In this scene, the race begins, Karen’s badly designed leg brace locks and throws her face down onto the playground asphalt. She struggles to regain her feet, but the stampeding children trample her.

Close-up photo of asphalt courtesy of StockyPics, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

Scene 4: Trampled

Within seconds, a blast from Mrs. Proctor’s starting pistol signaled the beginning of the race. Everybody was off, including Kitten—but instead of running with the other children, she took two steps and fell. She had shuffled her right foot, which tripped her left and shook loose the locks on her brace. The brace had locked, and she had toppled forward hard toward the asphalt. She had fallen many times in her life, so she knew how to react. Pivoting to the left, she broke the fall with her strong right hand. She lowered her right elbow to the surface for additional support and immediately pulled her right knee up, so she could get her strong leg under her and stand. She was confident that she could rise quickly, adjust the brace, and continue in the race.

The trampling came from behind, as the other children raced over her. The first collision knocked her flat. She felt a heavy foot stomp on the middle of her back, as a child tripped over her. Another foot grazed the back of her head. She pushed with her right hand, trying to raise her upper body, but could only watch as feet in sneakers stepped on her outstretched fingers. Her left hand had landed by her side, palm down, and was also crushed flat by the trampling feet. As more footsteps landed on her back, legs and head, she got both hands under her face to protect it from the asphalt. With complete determination, she kept pushing up, now simply trying to escape, but the relentless avalanche of children immobilized her on the asphalt.

As suddenly as it started, the trampling ended. She looked up to see the other children racing toward their prizes. Tears burned her eyes. Her ears rang from the kicks to her head and the shouts to get out of the way. Her left hand pulsated, red with pain. Normally, the fingers were slightly curled. They could not straighten on their own. Now, the fingers were completely straight and stinging in agony.

As she rolled onto her back and sat up, Mrs. Proctor and Mama arrived. Kitten looked up at them, and then down at her once pretty pink overalls, now torn and dirty rags. Her right knee and both of her elbows bled from scrapes. Gravel was embedded in both knees and palms.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 17, Scene 3: Karen Positions Herself

In this scene, Karen tries to wait patiently for the treasure hunt to start, and we learn a little about leg brace design and the assumptions that doctors and medical device designers made about children with cerebral palsy.

The image is of an ancient Roman coin, courtesy of the French National Library and Wikimedia Commons. Unknown authorUnknown author / French National Library, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons.

Scene 3: Karen Positions Herself

Karen stood patiently, waiting, as the others fidgeted. She lifted her legs and shook them out one at a time, while straightening her pink overalls. She checked her brace locks to make sure they were open and not shut. The brace was designed on the assumption that children with CP were passive and inactive. It supported her left leg by locking it rigidly straight. She could open the locks, when she needed to walk or run, but that defeated the purpose of the brace. Today, she wanted to make sure the locks were open so she could run after the treasure.

She took a deep breath and enjoyed the sweetness of Southern California’s seventy-degree weather. Looking down at her white, puffed sleeve tee, she thought, The weather is perfect for a race, but I wonder where the treasure is? It’s nowhere to be seen! Where would they put treasure in this wide-open space? I see nothing at all!

The minutes passed, and she heard the roar of the children behind her become more and more anxious. Her own calm turned to exhilaration, as she, too, felt the excitement.

I wish it would start, already!

My Presentation on Ability Challenges and Lifestyles to the Student Body and Faculty of Rowe Middle School in Oregon

In April of this year, Wilbur Rowe Middle School in Milwaukie, Oregon, celebrated ability challenges and lifestyles.

Here is the part of the message that Molly Burke, the school Success Coach, sent me via my Facebook page:

Our students have a weekly homeroom-like Community Connections class, where we cover a variety of topics such as social-emotional learning, college and career readiness, and celebrations of various cultural, racial, ability, sexuality, etc., heritage months and themes throughout the year.

In April we are celebrating and exploring Ability Challenges and lifestyle. The various aspects of what it’s like to live with visible and invisible differences, abilities, and inequities. A major hope we have is to raise awareness and increase understanding so our kids have more empathy for those experiencing life through a presumably more difficult and less forgiving lens. But we don’t want to make any assumptions. Ultimately, we believe sharing stories teaches as well as anything and would be honored if you wanted to contribute to our school-wide lesson. It’s an opportunity to educate 800+ students and 50 staff.

Might you be interested in saying a little something about yourself and what your life is like? Something simple, in a 2-4 minute video?

She even offered me twenty dollars for my time. I said to put the money to good use at the school. You can imagine I would’ve paid her to spread my message of hope to a group of kids who were all going through their own challenges of early adolescence.

So, I made a video for her to show the students, and they loved it. Here’s what Molly wrote when I asked how it went over:

“The students loved your video and felt it was very uplifting…Thanks again for your participation!!”

That made my heart warm, for sure. You can see the video on my YouTube channel, along with other videos of me spreading my message of hope. Please give it a like and subscribe.

Warmly yours,

Karen

The Healing Horse, Ch. 17, Scene 2: At the School

In this scene from The Healing Horse, Karen and Mama go to the local elementary school treasure hunt. Karen hopes to find gold and jewels. Of course, she does not, but in an upcoming scene, she finds much more.

The photo is of a car exactly like Mama drove. It’s for sale, and who knows? It might even be her car lovingly restored. (Image from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/224194887683710234/

Scene 2: At the School

In her dream, Karen recalled a Saturday morning when Mama had taken her to help run errands. As they drove past the neighborhood elementary school in Mama’s 1952 Chevy Styleline Deluxe, they saw a banner advertising a school treasure hunt stretched across the street. The school was a short walk from their house, and the hunt began at ten o’clock, the next Saturday morning.

Karen asked, “May I go, Mama? And would you like to come with me?”

“Sure! I think that would be great fun for the two of us. We would have a blast! A day full of frivolity, right?”

“Right!” Karen repeated.

The week seemed to take forever to pass, but at last Saturday came. They both got up early and could hardly wait to walk to the school. They danced around the kitchen to the AM radio, and at nine-thirty, they danced out the door and down the sidewalk to the school. Through the chain link fence around the playground, they saw hundreds of children running and playing, scurrying here and there across the grassy playground. Passing through the gate, Mama and Kitten headed toward a white shed that was surrounded by parents and teachers.

Mrs. Proctor, the school principal, stood at the center. A tall, blond woman who wore a suit to work, today she wore black flats and a short-sleeved navy and white checked dress with a mandarin collar. Kitten and Mama knew her from earlier events. Even though Karen attended a special school several miles away, she was a regular at the neighborhood school’s carnivals and other events.

“Hello, Mrs. Hershstein and Karen,” Mrs. Proctor said, as she bent forward to focus on Kitten. “It’s so nice to see you at another of our events. Are you ready to find the big treasure?”

“I sure am! I’m ready to find all the gold and jewels!” Kitten replied in a serious tone.

“We’re about to start. I’m going to use the bullhorn to call the children, now. Maybe you ought to get into position, near the edge of the asphalt. I’m going to have the children line up in rows on the hardtop and then race across the lawn.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Proctor,” Mama replied, her voice rising over the children’s chatter. “I’ll get Karen in place.”

The Healing Horse, Ch. 17: Trampled, Scene 1: Kitten, Five Years Old and Aglow

This scene, Karen has just returned from a triumphant day at Disneyland during which she received a prediction that someday she would become a leader and a dancer, and in her dreams that night she relives an earlier event when her inner wisdom showed her how to turn a nasty accident into a positive learning experience. This foreshadows more difficulties to come, but it also affirms her power to deal with them. (Image by Bellinon from Pixabay)

Scene 1: Kitten, Five Years Old and Aglow

That night, in her dream Kitten was five years old and aglow with new confidence, new insights, and a developing sense of self-worth.

In her little girl mind, she saw that life was more than limiting obstacles. She did not have to play into the delusion that life was a struggle against impossible odds. She could turn any negative situation or comment into affirmations of herself. These included painful experiences that she could see as pure, meaningless suffering if she chose to, but she did not so choose. She knew that she could live her life according to her beliefs—happily—and she could make her life manifest the joy she felt in her heart.

An instinctive, spontaneous wisdom told her that she had untold wishes and untapped desires, and a penchant for fulfilling them. She felt in her gut, in the deepest resources of her being, truths that she knew most people never found. She listened to this wisdom. This universal sixth sense was her definitive source for judgment. As an inner compass, it gave her direction, and the knowledge of right from wrong.

Knowing this, she also knew that there would be time for fun. Today, she thought she recognized an opportunity for fun. Her sense of self-worth gave her the courage to ask Mama about going to the neighborhood elementary school’s Annual Treasure Hunt.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 16, Scene 6: A Mother’s Reflection

In this scene, Mama reflects on the day and what it had taught her Karen, and on what her Karen had taught her. Perhaps her little girl would someday become a dancer. Now it was a dream, but it could become a reality.

The picture is of Virginia Myers in the 1,000th production of Edison Studios. The year was 1912. The title was Dream Dances. Used with permission of the Myers Family estate and courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. (Edison Co., CC0, via Wikimedia Commons.)

Scene 6: A Mother’s Reflection

After tucking her girl in for the night, Mama retired to her own bedroom and changed into her long flannel nightgown before slipping beneath the covers.

As she lay staring up into the dark, she thought about the day. Working up the nerve to walk from their old house, near downtown Santa Monica, all the way to the Pier had taken her Karen weeks. But look how that worked out. Now she had a horse and was brave enough to take him to Disneyland. She was learning to think for herself and to make good decisions.

After a few minutes, she realized she was too wound up to sleep, so she tiptoed to her daughter’s room and looked at her baby, again. She looked so peaceful sleeping there, all snuggled up in her bed. Mama prayed to herself and the heavens above. She wished that she could do something to keep her daughter feeling that harmony within herself, always.

“There,” she whispered, as she covered her with her down comforter and laid her arms gently on top of the covers.

She looked down at Karen one more time. In spite of all her concerns, Karen had tried and succeeded. Karen had taught Mama a very important lesson that day. She would never let her fears stop her, and maybe she did have a destiny as a dancer, impossible as that sounded.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 16, Scene 5: A Mother’s Promise

In this scene, Karen and Mama discuss the day, and then Mama makes a surprising promise that foreshadows what will happen later in the book.

Scene 5: A Mother’s Promise

Karen climbed the steps to the front porch of the Craftsman bungalow and let herself in. She smelled chicken soup cooking in the kitchen and took in a deep breath. That was exactly what she wanted to eat, and then she would go to bed. She heard Mama call her name, and she kicked off her shoes before going to meet her. After a big hug, they carried their bowls of soup to the dining table and sat down.

Karen told Mama all about the day, even the parts about Pegasus talking and Madame Leota’s prediction. She repeated it word for word.

In a future time not long away
You will dance and lead the way
Follow the pied piper, the dancing man
He will show you that you can.

Let no discouragement block your way
No matter what authorities say
You can dance and lead the way
You will show others that so can they.

Beware the white coats and teachers false
Stick close to your horse and teacher true
Eyes on your strengths, not on your faults
Become the one who is truly you.

Mama thought for a moment, and her eyes filled with tears, as she thought about all the discouragement her daughter would, indeed, face.

“That all makes sense to me, my Krana Layala, but it’s been a long day. We both need our sleep. But I will tell you that I will find you a dance teacher. I promise.”