Your Reality

As a person with or without Cerebral Palsy I’m sure you have worked hard to become the best person you can be today. You’ve learned, build your aptitude, been loyal to your friends, family, and neighbors; and worked hard to execute and carry out your dreams and desires.

But what happens if, with all this work, you can’t build your own tribe. You can’t share or educate the public, or match the views so many of us have with the world; to bring a good change about? You can’t build a life for yourself? You can’t do for yourself what you want to accomplish? What happens then? Do you become depended? Do you withdraw and shy away from society? Or do you lash out with a verbal or physical attack hurting others and then having to pay for that action.

Have you allowed someone else to think that they know better than you? Have you allowed them to be a critic, take over, and give a review like Roger Ebert the movie critic because you were afraid, easily swayed and could not stand up for yourself? Do you allow others to control and manipulated you emotionally because you aren’t strong enough to speak up for yourself? Do you allow other people to get in the way of your usefulness? Do you allow other people to influence you and cause you to change your mind and opinion due to their beliefs?

If so, it is up to you, and you alone to change this. It is up to you to be responsible. It is up to you to change your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. And, it is up to you, and you alone, to be a positive person in society and to change your life for the better.

Choose your words, your thoughts, and your beliefs carefully because they will become your reality.

Ways to be Kind and Honest

Too often, as disabled people with Cerebral Palsy, we forget how much our lives interact with others. While we may be sizzling at what someone else has said or done, there are two ways to look at, and deal with, the situation. We can use these experiences as a building block to our benefit to be positive. From this, we learn not only from our experiences, but we learn how to be kind, honest, and build healthy barriers between us and others.

Building trust is very important. We can say things sarcastically, creating more anger, and more tension which will make the other person more defensive; or, we can create mutual respect and build bridges, which lead to friendship, open-mindedness and flexibility.

The more we practice these behaviors the more they become second nature to us. They help build our ability to interact with others. It is our choice.

Is This Your Best

Every day you wake up is an opportunity to do your best. Sometimes, as a disabled person or not it’s hard to figure that out. Other times it could be very difficult because there are all kinds of people in this world with all kinds of personalities.

In today’s lingo, people are referred to as tribes, with their own set of rules and regulations. If you click all is well, but if you have another way of doing things, some people can’t handle it. The real issue gets lost in a battle to force a person to do things in a way that pleases’ the (group) or tribe. Like Roark would say in “The Fountainhead” “I do not recognize anyone’s right to one moment of my life.”

Each person with Cerebral Palsy or not, must determine what they believe and what they are capable of.

Selling Yourself, Selling Your Story

It is very easy as a disabled person to have a vague set of ideas for what you want to accomplish. For all of us, it is more practical to find a reason for why we do the things we do, and why we say the things we say. Any achievement that one accomplishes requires risk-taking, it requires drive, and it requires self- motivation.

It is safe and fun and easy just to do any ol’ little thing our sweet little heart desires. Still another, to feel the comfort of the moment. But it is a whole other story to get up off your buttocks and take action. It is a whole other story to make your life happen. Including taking responsibility for yourself without blaming others.

Life will not always be a bowl of cherries. There will be times where and when we have to say things we rather not, set boundaries, and be strong enough to take rejection when rejection comes and not be liked by others. Life will teach you how to be true to yourself.

What’s Important to You, Might Not be Important to Others

From the moment we wake up in the morning, till the moment we shut our eyes in slumber at night, we as people with Cerebral Palsy are filled with activity daily. Some of which is mandatory, while others come from our own desires. How do we discern which is important, and which is not? What may be urgent for you may not be for your parents, or caregiver, or somebody else.

We try to help those around us as well as keeping our own lives in order and in tack. But the truth is, that it is constant and ever evolving. It never stops! Sometimes it’s merely that other people in our lives speak louder, are more aggressive, and insist on their needs being more important than yours.

Wondering What Others Say and Think

How often do you sit as a disabled person or able-bodied person, wondering what other are saying and thinking. Did I answer their question correctly! Did I say the right thing at the right time? Will they accept me for who I am? All of these insecurities come from not feeling self-assured or confident in your own being. A lot of our time is spent worrying about what others will say and do.

It is up to us to change our thoughts. It is up to us to elevate our reactions to people, places, and things. It is up to us to change our attitudes about ourselves.

The only way to rise above this is to snatch it by the hands, accept it, and better yourself from what you just heard and learned.

Because We Care

Having a disability or Cerebral Palsy doesn’t mean we have to do something for nothing. We can bring many ideas and suggestions to the table which can not only make use of our talents but can open doors and minds if people are mindful. It takes drive, initiative, and discipline to get somewhere in the universe. It also takes time, effort, and doing what we care most about; over, and over, and over again, until we are recognized. Sometimes it’s for money, and sometimes it’s not. Is it because I care about the project or because I want or need the money? Will this make my name known or hinder my reputation.

As a disabled, women, I have worked hard to make something of myself. I have worked all my life to make a difference! To make a real difference in people lives around me! To help other by being a light! Not for the money. Not for the prestige. Not for the sheer sake of it, sometimes it would have been nice. However, now, I see, I have come full circle. People recognize me, by just being little ole’ me.

What Really Matters

We all have had to protect ourselves one way or another living life with Cerebral Palsy. We have had to suit up at all cost. We have had to equip ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. Today, bullying is not as overt as its definition. This aggressive behavior happens when an individual thinks he has to exercise his own power. They think we don’t fit in or can’t fit in. So it is their job, they think, to redirect or threaten us.

Whether it is Pluto bullying Popeye, or a bureaucrat dismissing a person’s concerns, bullying is rampant. It affects everyone! Even the visuals of computer games promote violence.

What are you doing to combat this destruction?

Armoring Ourselves

How well do you as a person with Cerebral Palsy and any disability armor yourself?

When you talk with people you need to do business with such as: doctors, educators, counselors, and therapist; are you like Maximus the powerful Roman general? Do you wear a helmet and a savior sword to protect yourself, or do you have trouble navigating the system when someone touches a nerve?

Do you stand up for yourself or melt under pressure?

The Seen and Unseen of our Existence

How many times has a disabled person with Cerebral Palsy been acknowledge for the thing they have set out to accomplish in their lives? It’s easy for people with C.P. like Josh Blue or Jerry Jewel. They give people a taste, with humor, that sometimes makes lite of who we really are. But the reality is, it’s not so funny. Dealing with C.P. is not a game or to be toyed with. It’s a daily struggle. And most would rather be working or walking or bringing home a nice, crisp, paycheck of their own.

Just because people make fun of themselves as a commodity doesn’t always make it right. You wouldn’t make fun of a person not being able to swallow their food. Nor would you make fun of someone who has spasticity.

Often people will stand back and wait until someone else jumps in to save the survivor. But in most cases they don’t jump in. Day-by-day, week-by-week, year-by-year; the days just roll by. We get older, frailer; our dreams that we once had are no longer an option, we are cast aside, and organization that said they would help lie to our faces, or put us on an ever-ending marry-go-round. Most of us sit quietly on our laurels’, however, the significance of these experiences cost us dearly. Their lack of initiative is our greatest loss!

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A Voice of Hope - Speaking to and for People with Disabilities