The Healing Horse Ch 6, Scene 13: In The Multi-Purpose Room

Karen finds herself in a revery as she remembers how she had dealt with the harsh words of another child, and of how she found solace in forgiveness rather than revenge.

Scene 13: In The Multi-Purpose Room

The multi-purpose room was set up as a cafeteria. Grayish-yellow food trays, scattered by children who had left them after eating, covered the five rows of tables. Karen finished her milk and felt a chill that did not come from the cold liquid. Something was wrong, but she did not know what.

After busing her tray, she made her way to the exit and pushed the panic bar on the fire door. The heavy door opened halfway. As she squeezed through, she felt someone grab the back of her pinafore and push her to the side. She felt a hot breath on her neck as a voice shouted in her ear.

“Your mama’s a fat pig! She’s got a fat belly and walks like a penguin!”

Kitten held the door handle for balance, so she did not fall in spite of the hard push. It was the girl with the plaid dress and braids who rode her school bus, and who had torn up Karen’s papers in the classroom. Karen watched her run around the corner of the building and out of sight.
Karen looked inward to her heart and swallowed her retort. She was not going to add to the negativity by putting her energy into it. She wanted peace, not conflict.

How could she say those ugly, unkind words about my mother? Mama can’t help being overweight. She tries every day not to eat foods that make her fat! Every day she starts her morning by preparing the healthiest food for me, but making a pot of coffee for herself. She drinks it black thinking she’ll take off the pounds from the food she ate the night before. She can’t help being overweight anymore than I can help having CP. It’s her disability. I won’t tell Mama what happened, today. I won’t utter a word. This would destroy her. She has enough to cope with, taking care of me. If I say anything, she will start in eating after dinner when I’m asleep and not stop. She’ll go to bed, put on the talk radio station, and eat herself into oblivion. I don’t want that to happen, so I’ll just keep quiet and bless that little girl. I don’t want her friendship, anyway. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that mean.

Kitten stared into space and instead of trying to suppress her feelings, she dealt with them by sending forgiveness to the little girl and practicing healing her heart. She straightened her dress and meant to play on the climbing bars, but instead she stood quietly, alone, trying to release and come to terms with the anger that the vicious comment had brought up.

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 12: Karen Responds to Pegasus’ Story

Even though Karen had not endured physical abuse, she did endure emotional abuse from other children. As she listens to the story of how Pegasus’ hoof was injured, she recalls how her own feelings were recently hurt.

Scene 12: Karen Responds to Pegasus’ Story

Kitten, who was innately selfless, shuddered at this threat of selfish violence.

“That must have been horrible for you,” she said.

“It was, Kitten. It was. I’ve never shared this story with anyone, before.”

Karen spontaneously replied that something similar had happened to her, though it was her feelings that were hurt, not her foot.

In her memory, she relived the scene that had happened only a few weeks before, and as she lived it in memory, it she expressed it in words so that Pegasus could hear and feel her emotions.

#kitten #hurtfeelings

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 11: How His Hoof was Broken

At last, Pegasus shares some of his story with Karen, and she learns that just as her CP was the result of arrogance and a big, fragile ego in her pediatrician, so her horse’s broken hoof was the result of a young boy raging out of control.

Scene 11: How His Hoof was Broken

He replied:

One afternoon, there were some boys here at the carousel. There were three of them, to be exact. They were laughing and having a great time. Suddenly, one of them, a lad with a shock of red hair, became mischievous and agitated. He seemed to be a bully from the way he carried on with a nature both dissatisfied and discontent. He came across acting tough.

The bully alternately antagonized and egged on the other two boys. He was so completely out of control of himself that he needed to control someone else. His ego was so big, but so fragile, that he had to hurt other people to feel important to himself. He was afraid, but he dared not show it. He did not know how to show his true feelings or express them, but what he did know how to do was to hurt others and to take advantage of their weaknesses. He had a serious character defect. He couldn’t relate to people. He felt alone and he resented anyone who displayed any sort of emotion or happiness. He resented anything he wasn’t in control of. He provoked the others into violent acts, like throwing rocks at each other. Then, with fire in his eyes, he whipped out a glass bottle from his pants pocket. He ran toward us horses, his face tense and on fire with scorn and disrespect.

‘I’ll show them who’s boss!’ he exclaimed, ‘Then they’ll know! I’m going to splatter this ink all over one of these stupid horses! And you’re going to help me or else!’ he growled with venom.

The youngest spoke up nervously. ‘Don’t do that! I like riding these horses, and other people do, too. Why would you want to hurt them?’

If you don’t shut up, I’ll pour this ink into your mouth instead of onto the horse!’ he shouted.

He reached out his grubby hands and grabbed the younger boy by the shirt collar. The redhead with the fiery heart was too self-absorbed to listen to the other boy. He couldn’t understand that what he was doing had consequences. He couldn’t think in the long term. He could only focus on the now. He could only focus on the damage he was causing. He could only focus on intimidating the well-meaning boys with him. This made him feel good. This emboldened him for a while, and took his mind off how scared, cowardly, unnerved, and nasty he really was.

The other children could not stop him. He was enraged. He splattered ink everywhere. He tried playing Zorro by pulling out a pocket knife and flailing it around. The other boys were terrified of him and left. The nasty redhead grinned in triumph and victory. In a flash, everything turned chaotic. This hoodlum did not understand that behaving like a thug would not make him feel better or seem more important. This kind of meaningless anger had to be channeled, as you and I do, Kitten.

He became so infuriated that he began wrecking the carriages on the merry-go-round. He vandalized some of the horses with his ink. He became even more defiant when he saw that the carousel crew had spotted him. They were coming straight at him. Scrambling for cover and shaking with fear, he threatened them with his knife.

He and the tall cowboy who helped you onto my back circled the merry-go-round several times. At last, the wrangler got close enough to rush at the boy. Then, from the boy’s hand, the knife came flying fast. He tried to hit the cowboy, but fortunately, he missed him, and it careened off the floor. But it bounced right into my hoof, slicing into me. I couldn’t believe that someone could be so cruel and mean. He was as heartless and cold as a predatory fish!

In next to no time, the carnival owners called the horse doctor. She came quickly, right after the police, who took away the boy. She did what she could. Sadly, though, she could only fix me so much. Nevertheless, I didn’t let my spirit suffer. I learned something that day. I learned that outside appearance is not as important as many people think. It’s the inside that counts the most. It’s the intangible, the indefinable, and the indescribable.”

#arrogance #brokenhoof

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 10: Pegasus Shares His Story

As you may remember, little Karen is partially paralyzed on the left side. One reason she chose Pegasus as the horse she wanted to ride, was because one of his left hooves was badly injured. In this scene, she asks him to tell her what happened. In the next scene, you will find out.

Scene 10: Pegasus Shares His Story

One momentous Saturday several weeks later, Karen decided as usual to visit the pier. It was a quiet, delicious autumn morning. With much anticipation, she soon found herself at the carousel. Her happy heart told her that something most fundamental would be shared with her on this day.

The grand music pounded out its penetrating waltz. She and her magical horse inhaled each other’s essence and relaxed in each other’s presence as the ride began. Pegasus looked up at Kitten.

“You are such an extraordinary girl,” he said. “I have come alive for you and for you alone, because I now know my mission in life. I was sent to help you, to guide you, and to empower you, and you alone!”

Karen gasped. Her heart skipped a beat, like it did when she played hopscotch. She needed a moment to focus fully. When she did, the questions in her mind jumped like jacks bouncing on concrete. First, in a gentle way, she wanted to ask him about his broken hoof and its tandem likeness with her own left side partial paralysis.

She collected herself and then whispered, “Pegasus, how did your hoof get hurt?”

#pegasus #brokenhoof

The Healing Horse Ch 6, Scene 9: Kitten and Pegasus Develop Effortless Communication

Kitten’s daily visits with Pegasus help them develop a deep bond of acceptance, understanding, and love.

Scene 9: Kitten and Pegasus Develop Effortless Communication

In his gentle, serene voice, Pegasus told her mystical stories, and in return, he listened to her stories. He never interrupted her.

Karen felt totally at ease with her stallion. Visiting him daily made opening up and talking to him feel natural. Words came plainly, without pretense. His unconditional caring made feeling accepted easy for Karen. That’s why speaking whatever came to her mind became spontaneous. She knew that he would never judge or ridicule her. He treated her as the intelligent young person she was; whereas many people, especially adults, assumed that because she had cerebral palsy, she must also have profound intellectual disabilities. Pegasus knew differently and spoke to her with respect and deference.

For Pegasus, speaking to Karen was equally effortless. Karen listened to him intently. She was naturally empathic, and she wanted to be sympathetic to others. Therefore, her stallion found speaking to her easy. Likewise, he found giving Karen the attention and approval she needed simple and uncomplicated. He knew how to encourage her imagination and how to develop her mind’s eye, which made Karen feel unconditionally treasured and loved. They communicated sincerely and humbly, and reached out to each other with compassion.

Every day, Karen brought freshly picked, end-of-season sunflowers to Pegasus. She would ride no other horse but her loving, lavender and rainbow stallion. They became inseparable, connected by an intense affinity and a devout bond. She loved her horse; and he, her.

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 8: Kitten Establishes a Routine

Karen quickly establishes a routine, so she and Pegasus can spend time together nearly every day.

Scene 8: Kitten Establishes a Routine

Over the horizon, the next day burst forth. Karen hurried back to the merry-go-round. From that day on, she walked to the carousel nearly every afternoon, even on homework-laden school days, though she always finished her homework on time.

September rushed by. The seasonal change of temperature welcomed October. During that magical month, Kitten’s left leg grew stronger. Soon, she no longer needed Joshua’s help to climb onto Pegasus’ back.

As the days shortened, so did the carousel open hours. In August and September, it was open every day except for Tuesday. Tuesday was “Anything Can Happen Day” on the Mickey Mouse Club, so Kitten was glad to stay home and watch TV for one day each week. In October, the carousel began closing on both Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Two days without Pegasus were too much, so she walked to the closed Hippodrome and waved at her horse through the windows. He always nodded back.

#carousel #day

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 7: Kitten Relaxes and Then Goes to Sleep

After preparing for bed, Kitten drifts back in memory to reflect on the magic of her day and on her achievements.

Scene 7: Kitten Relaxes and Then Goes to Sleep

After dinner, Karen took her bath and prepared for bed. Even though her favorite programs were on TV, she could not keep herself from drifting back into her memories and recalling her marvelous day.

I had my own unique adventure, today. I took something out of my heart and mind and made it come to pass. I told Mama everything, except about Pegasus talking. I told her about holding onto the horse’s reins without any assistance, about how beautiful the horse was, and about how kind and gentle the man who helped me on and off was, but I kept the magic of Pegasus to myself.

Deep in memory, she lost track of time. The clock chiming eight surprised her. When she stood and stretched her arms, her nose caught the scent of shoe polish. Like every night, Mama sat on the other side of the room, polishing away scuffs from Kitten’s white leather high-top shoes. Kitten walked over and gave her a loving kiss goodnight.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.

Mama replied, “Yes, Kitten. See you in the A.M. Have a good night’s rest, my precious girl. Sleep tight.”

#mama #kitten

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 6: Kitten and Mama Discuss the Day Over Dinner

Karen tells her mother about most of what happened on that momentous day, unaware that her Mama saw it all.

Scene 6: Kitten and Mama Discuss the Day Over Dinner

Karen’s face aglow, she washed her hands and then sat down with Mama at the table. During dinner, she excitedly described her walk to the merry-go-round and how she summoned the courage to get up onto the horse by asking for Joshua’s help. She had stood up for herself, prompted by his question about assisting her. As a result of her advocacy, he had responded in kind.

“How fantastic! I’m very proud of you!”

I can’t stop grinning, but I’m not going to let on that I saw the whole thing.

Karen told Mama how she held onto the horse’s reins without any assistance, how beautiful he was, and how kind and gentle the man had been as he helped her on and off the horse’s back.

“Oh, sweetheart, I am so very proud of you! I am very pleased with your achievements, today.”

I’m crying and I can’t stop. And now she’s jumped up from her chair and rushed all the way around the table to give me a hug. She doesn’t need a brace, anymore. She can jump up, like any normal child, and give her mother a hug.

“Thank you, Mama, thank you! That means a lot to me! You know, the horse I rode today was the most stunning of all, and would you believe his left hoof was hurt, too?”

“What do you mean, Kitten?”

“I don’t know how his hoof was wounded, but it was just like my left side, and he was the best horse of all! He’s a beautiful lavender color, Mama, with a rainbow-colored saddle, magenta reins, and blue eyes.”

“He sounds really handsome.”

And, I’m so glad.

#horse #mama

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 5: Kitten Arrives Home

As Karen completes her journey to the pier and back, her mother’s heart fills with nakhas, or enjoyment of pride in one’s children.

For more wonderful Yiddish expressions, visit https://yiddishacademy.com/schtick-yiddish-culture/yiddish-slang/

Scene 5: Kitten Arrives Home

Twenty-five minutes later, Mama watched Karen walk through the kitchen door and heard her say, “Hi, Mama, I’m home.”

“Hello, sweet Kitten, how was your day?” she replied. I sure am glad she didn’t see me at the park. I’m so happy I’m giddy!

“It was amazing, Mama! I’m very, very glad you suggested this to me.”

“Going to the pier? Yes! I got your note. Did you do it?”

“Yes. I walked all the way there and all the way back. And I rode a horse!”

You bring me such nakhas! Mama thought. Then she said, “Well, dinner is ready. So, how about if you go wash your hands, and you can tell me all about it at the table?”

#mama #journey

The Healing Horse, Ch 6, Scene 4: Mama Drives Home

Now, it’s Mama’s turn to reflect on her Karen’s accomplishments. If you don’t know Yiddish, then here’s a little vocabulary lesson for you.

Kveling = glowing with pride
Shana madel = pretty or well-behaved girl, like a mensch but female
Mensch = literally means a human being, but
Yiddishe kop = Yiddish or Jewish head or mind
Oy! = An exclamation expressing happiness
Krana Layala = Karen Lynn in Yiddish

You can learn more Yiddish at https://yiddishacademy.com/schtick-yiddish-culture/yiddish-slang/.

Scene 4: Mama Drives Home

After Karen left the pier, Mama retrieved her car from the parking lot. As she drove home, Mama reflected that many people with disabilities more profound than Karen’s had achieved great things in life. She knew that her Kitten would, too.

Kitten has done something I thought she’d never do! I’m glowing with pride. I can’t stop kveling with happiness! My shana madel is a mensch. She has a Yiddishe kop! She is proving me wrong at every turning point. She is showing me just how much she can achieve. Oy!

Her determination will get her far in life. I can see now I did the right thing. This was the first step to overcoming everything else. I’m so glad I gave her this chance and didn’t let my fears get in the way. When Kitten woke up from her coma, I prayed that she wouldn’t have so many disabilities that she couldn’t think and do things on her own. More than that, I wanted her to feel her own dignity and self-respect.

Now, her strength is greater than mine. She has turned her CP into an asset. She’s teaching me to be strong. I must support her as she builds her strength, while I can. I won’t be here forever. I must stop with my overprotectiveness and prepare her for adulthood. I’ve never seen my daughter so happy before. Making this possible has helped us both. Even if some of the other parents thought this was a mistake, now I know I was right. My Krana Layala is standing tall with a self-assurance I’ve never seen in her, before.

#yiddish #disabilities