Tips for a Successful Move When You Have a Special Needs Child by Jillian Day

[Editor’s note: Jillian Day created 508Assist.org to help people all across the web make their sites accessible to individuals with disabilities. She was inspired to start 508Assist.org when a close family member, who happens to have a visual impairment, had trouble finding a dinner recipe online that he could read easily. When she’s not chasing after her little ones, Jillian enjoys being outside, whether she’s fishing, hiking, or geocaching with her family.]

Moving is rarely ever fun for children. When you have a child with a disability, they may even be more reluctant to relocate for fear of the unknown. But sometimes, moving is a necessity. Here, Jillian Day of shares a few quick tips on how to make the transition as pleasant as possible for your entire family.

Accessibility Is Key

Accessibility is often a challenge for families with children who have special needs, particularly those who use walking devices a wheelchair. If you are planning to move out of state, make sure that you have an accessible place to stay while you tour potential new homes. Modern hotels must be compliant with the Americans With Disabilities Act. Boutique lodging or historic locations may not be wheelchair accessible. Alternatively, a vacation rental can be the ideal choice, particularly if you filter for one with accessibility features and other amenities that can make your stay more comfortable.

You also want to pay close attention to whether a potential home will be as easy to maneuver around in as your current one. Looking at homes on the internet gives you an opportunity to evaluate many aspects of the design, including whether or not the home is one-story and has a ground-floor entrance. Doing a 3D walk-through or looking at photos can also help you envision any modifications you might need to make, like widening the doorways or installing a wheelchair lift in the swimming pool.

Stress Less By Preparing Ahead Of Time

Even if you’ve purchased a home before, the process may have changed. While you might have previously taken out a low or no down payment loan, today lenders will often require anywhere from 3.5 to 20% down on any property. This will all depend on the type of loan you choose. Make sure that you have your money secure and ready so that you can move quickly when the right property arises. If you must sell your current home before investing in your next property, talk to your realtor about how to coordinate those two events without interfering with your child’s life.

Something else to consider here if you have a child with a sensory disorder is preparing yourself and your entire family for complications or meltdowns. Remind siblings that their brother or sister is not simply trying to get attention, but instead is overwhelmed and may not have the ability to self-regulate like everyone else. Moving is stressful, and they may have also experienced a sleep disruption, which A Sensory Life explains can also trigger a sensory meltdown. Make sure that your child has familiar objects handy and that they have a place to go to regain their sense of balance if they start to feel like they are spiraling.

Looking Ahead

More than just evaluating your next home, you also have to look at other needs unique to your special needs child. Two of the most pressing that should be addressed before the move are their healthcare and education. If you have yet to scout for a pediatrician, don’t delay. Pediatric Healthcare of Northwest Houston asserts that you must do your research. Confirm that your future pediatrician’s skills actually match your child’s needs. You also want to confirm that they are affiliated with a reputable hospital that is also fully equipped for your child’s care.

Research is also imperative when it’s time to choose the school. Although all students with disabilities have rights under IDEA and Section 504, not all schools are set up with a dedicated disability program. Contact the county in which you plan to move and ask to speak with their special education director. They can coordinate your child’s transition from their current school to their new academic setting.

There is no way of getting around all of the stress associated with moving. But, when you have a child with special needs, you can reduce some of the added strain by looking ahead. Start by making sure your new home will be accessible, and then get busy researching the best schools in your forthcoming district. It’s work, but soon everyone in your entourage will be settled into their new home.

Image via Pexels

The Healing Horse, Ch. 21, Scene 3: The Coffee Cup

The story develops another plot thread as little Karen discovers that the therapist she thought of as trustworthy begins to reveal her dark side. image of 5,000 styrofoam cups in a hallway

image of 5,000 styrofoam cups in a hallway

(Image from Cdsreport, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 3: The Coffee Cup

Coming back from her nutrition break, she saw Mrs. Pinzetti and her assistant Mrs. DeLuca talking, as they sauntered down the hall, sipping coffee from Styrofoam cups. Karen hurried to catch up so she could say hello to them, but then heard what they were saying. Her ears fine-tuned and something inside made her tiptoe.

Mrs. Pinzetti coughed and then asked which student would come for clinic the next day, and Mrs. DeLuca replied that it was Tammy.

Mrs. Pinzetti said, “That’s good. I thought it was Karen, but Tammy and her mother will be easier to deal with. We have to get Tammy into an electric wheelchair. That will make us the first in LA to have a semi-independent quad, and bring in a nice referral fee from the chair company. The mother makes a ruckus about every little change, but we can get her to go along, if no one brings up the dangers. Besides, even if Tammy crashes off a curb and breaks her neck, it’s still good for us, and it won’t make life much worse for the kid. She’s already so disabled. The important thing is to be the first to get a quad student into a chair she can control.”

The redhead replied, “I suppose you’re right. Sometimes I almost feel sorry for her. Can you believe how well the mother dresses Tammy?”

Mrs. Pinzetti snarled, “What else is the poor soul going to do? Look how much daily care her daughter needs! It’s ridiculous! Tammy is completely spoiled and demands way too much from everyone. Her mother caters to her as if she were a normal child, but she isn’t. She’s disabled and retarded with CP. She doesn’t have the same feelings that normal kids have. Lambert keeps saying she should be in an institution, and it’s only her mother’s stubbornness that keeps her out of one.”

Mrs. Pinzetti glanced at her wristwatch and added, “We need to hurry. Walk this way with me, please.”

She drained her coffee cup and threw it onto the floor before hurrying away. Mrs. DeLuca did the same. Karen stopped and watched the two therapists disappear down the hall. Then she picked up the coffee cups so that no one would trip on them and carried them to the nearest trash can.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 21, Scene 2: Cinnamon Rolls with Tammy

image of cinnamon rolls on a baking sheet

This scene introduces Karen’s friend Tammy, a bright girl who cannot speak intelligibly or hold a pencil to write. As the story continues, we will watch their friendship grow, as Tammy struggles to make her way in life.

(Image by grongar, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 2: Cinnamon Rolls with Tammy

During the rest of the day, Kitten greeted each experience as it arose. She did her best not to project negativity. She completed her class work and then pushed her friend Tammy’s wheelchair through the line of students that passed down the hallway to the cafeteria for their mid-morning snack.

Tammy was a charming girl with a bouncy blonde ponytail, but the effects of her cerebral palsy were even more pronounced than Karen’s. Her arms and legs were beyond her control, and they flailed wildly unless they were strapped down to her wheelchair. She always held her head high because her full-body brace forced her to sit upright in the wheelchair. Her speech was so garbled that, while Karen could understand her, to the other children and to most adults her words were incomprehensible.

The line moved forward until the two girls reached the cafeteria door. Behind the counter, the hot cinnamon rolls smelled wonderful. Mrs. Pearl, who served the food, asked them if they wanted oatmeal or cinnamon rolls. Karen and Tammy both smiled, and Mrs. Pearl knew exactly what they wanted.

“Why don’t you push Tammy over to a table, and I’ll bring the cinnamon rolls to you,” she said with a laugh.

Karen positioned Tammy’s wheelchair by a table and put a napkin into her lap. No sooner did she finish than the cinnamon rolls appeared. Both girls thanked Mrs. Pearl, and then Tammy looked up and boldly asked Karen for help. Karen tore off a piece of warm cinnamon roll and held it to Tammy’s lips. Tammy ate eagerly and looked Karen in the eye.

Kitten said, “Tammy! It’s so good to see you, again! I missed you over winter break, and I’m looking forward to turning your pages in class for you.”

Slowly, with effort, Tammy replied, “Oh, yes! Me, too! You were so kind to turn the pages of my books for me and to help me with my schoolwork. Of all the children in the school, you are the only one I think of as a true friend. ”

After nibbling her own cinnamon roll, Kitten confided in Tammy.

“Every day, we break through the limits that the experts set for us, whether they think so or not. I have to tell myself that, each and every time things get hard! This darn geography is very hard for me to understand, and so is the math. One night before the holidays, I spent over three hours pulling my hair out over some stupid math that I could not get into my head. It was like torture to me! It made me so angry and upset at myself because I could not grasp any of it! I was in a blank state of mind. Nothing stuck or made any sense. Every time I tried to see it in my mind, all I saw was a blank. The math just was not there! What’s so frustrating, Tammy, is that even though it does not make any sense at all to me, I keep trying, and trying and trying. I never give up, and I keep hoping that someday, maybe, I will find the key and unlock all this knowledge!”

Tammy frowned and replied, “I know what you are going through, Kitten. I go through the same thing, and I wish I could help you. It is agonizing to say the least. People don’t understand how much effort we put forth. They think we are playing games, when we work twice as hard and three times longer on our academics than other kids do. I’m like you, in that I never give up, but unlike you, I am ashamed to ask for help when I need it. Perhaps this is because my disabilities so pervade my life that I need help for even the most basic acts, such as feeding and toileting myself. And, of course, even though I have a perfect memory and academic understanding comes easily to me, due to my speech difficulties and inability to hold a pencil, I am apparently incapable of understanding anything, whatsoever, in the eyes of our instructors. At least, you can walk and talk.”

Their eyes met, again, and the bond between the two girls grew stronger. They continued their conversation until time for them to return to class. Kitten left Tammy waiting for her adult attendant, who would take her back to their classroom.

As she left the lunchroom, Karen thought, Tammy really opened up to me. She’s like me. She can feel what’s in people’s hearts. I really want her as a friend. We will build bonds and, as Mama says, we will break the conventional wisdom that experts try to limit us with. If I keep to the truth of who I am, who knows what kind of people I might meet? Who knows how or when I am going to change the global definition of the disabled, but I will. I am going to do it—one day at a time, one opportunity at a time, with love and unwavering concern in my heart.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 21: Cinnamon Rolls and Torment

This begins a new chapter, and as you have no doubt guessed from the title, it is going to be very dramatic. It features an evil surgeon, a twisted therapist, and a narrow escape from disaster. Read and enjoy! In the first scene, Kitten brings her mind into the present after the previous series of bad memories about school, then she tactfully shares about her holiday break. Needless to say, she does not mention talking horses, Disneyland, or anything else that happened.

(Image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/13862711342399933/)

Scene 1: Arriving at School; Not Casting Pearls Before Swine

When the bus arrived at school, Kitten pulled her mind back to the present. It was the first day of school in January of 1964. She was twelve years old and in seventh grade. She got off the bus, and her teacher greeted her and the other children by name before escorting them to their classroom.

Karen listened as the teacher had them take turns sharing about their vacation activities. Like Karen, they had all stayed home and enjoyed the holidays with their families.

Intensely aware that most children were unconcerned with spiritual matters, she did not want to share the events of her autumn with those who would not understand. In the past, she had been ridiculed for being talkative, open and honest. What she had done over winter break had gone beyond being unusual, and comparing it with the other children’s holidays made that clearer as well as dearer to her. Moreover, Pegasus’s transformation required her to be careful with whom she shared the truth. She would use indirection and ambiguity to protect both Pegasus and herself. She hoped she could change her communication style. She hoped to find a middle ground between secretiveness and naïveté.

When her turn came, she spoke with an inner sense of strength and sincerity. Her only thought was to be honest and personal yet brief. She said that she and Mama had celebrated Hanukkah and lighted the menorah. She had enjoyed her time off school by helping a special friend. She briefly mentioned how she had helped rescue a horse, and that she and Mama had moved into a new house earlier in the fall. The teacher, Mrs. Davidson, thanked her. Kitten returned to her seat and listened to the other children tell their stories.

Best Colleges and Universities for Students with a Learning Disability

image of two students with statistics in sidebar

When I wanted to go to college, I literally had to sue the State of California. Now, students with disabilities have a range of excellent colleges and universities to choose from. One of them (Beacon College) is actually dedicated to serving students with dyslexia and ADHD.

Click the link below to read an excellent article with links that will take you to the school websites. It also has admissions department info and ratings.

Many thanks to Johanna Mitra, Content Manager of iReviews, for sharing her article with us.

Here is the link: Best Schools for Students with a Learning Disability

I have also added a link to the article from the Whispers of Hope page on Special Needs Resources, so you can always find it there.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 20, Scene 5: Reflecting with Pegasus

In this scene, Kitten has a spiritual breakthrough, as she realizes that she has learned to set her own standards. She no longer has to fear failing to meet the standards of the authorities who control much of her life, and she does not have to allow the so-called experts to limit her potential by setting artificially low standards for her.

(Image courtesy of NAC, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 5: Reflecting with Pegasus

In her memory of that day when Dr. Muñoz was so mean to her, Karen recalled visiting her mentor as soon as she arrived home.

After the bus ride home, Karen jumped to the sidewalk and called to Mama that she was going to visit Pegasus. Without hesitating, she hurried to the stables. She explained what had happened at school, and then he commented.

“You are learning to empower yourself by defining your own standards. You are learning to set your own goals and not to let the experts tell you whether or not you are achieving them. You are empowering yourself by deciding what mastery means to you in every situation, and you are beginning to control your feelings and reactions to circumstances. When you can do this, then no one else will have the power to define who and what you are. You will not be deterred by doctors, teachers, therapists, or psychologists, ever again. Their lies, half-truths and innuendos will not affect your inner being. You will fight for your own rights, including your rights to dignity and respect, and you will fight for the rights of all disabled people. No one will be able to hold you back.”

She felt her spirit take a new stance as she listened to her mentor. It glowed and illumined her from within. His words answered her question about meeting the experts’ standards. She did not have to meet them. She had to meet her own standards. She knew she could do this, and she could teach others to do the same for themselves. She felt her body stand straighter than ever before. No one could hold her back.

She touched Pegasus’ neck without speaking. There were no words that had to be uttered. Pegasus knew. They spent the next hour walking together in silence. When they reached the top of the crest of the hills, a rainbow appeared over water of the bay, and then she went home for dinner.

Spartan Women, Bizarre Laws, and Bruce Catton

image of bronze figure of Spartan running girl

What do the women of the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta have in common with bizarre laws and a distinguished historian known for his writing on the American Civil War? The brilliant minds of Dr. Sean P. Dineen and Bill Weaver find them all fascinating. You will, too, and that is what they have in common. Follow the links to Bill and Sean’s podcasts. You will be amazed at what you did not know, and at how much fun you can having learning something new.

(Image courtesy of Caeciliusinhorto, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

The Healing Horse, Ch. 20, Scene 4: Tammy Understands

image of van gogh's painting "rain" After enduring the disdain and disrespect of the school psychologist, little Karen turns to her friend, Tammy, for comfort. (Painting “Rain” by Vincent van Gogh, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.)

Scene 4: Tammy Understands

On the school bus, her friend Tammy always sat right behind the driver. She leaned against the wall of the bus with her legs straight out in front of her. This meant she took up a whole seat, but it felt good after having her knees bent all day at school, so no one objected. Karen sat behind her, so they could talk.

“I had a session with Dr. Muñoz, today!”

“Oh, boy!” Tammy squealed. “Tell me about it. Did he ask you what color the sun is?”

Karen felt her tension release, the moment she heard Tammy’s voice. She giggled. Anxiety had distorted her hearing since she followed Dr. Muñoz down the hallway. Tammy’s words were the first she had heard clearly and without distortion since that morning.

“It all started with me walking slower than he wanted me to. He hurried down the hall to his office and expected me to keep up. You know how tall he is. Even if I had two good legs, I couldn’t keep up with him. Then, he put me into that cell he calls his office. Everything in it was lined up, organized, and sterile. He stared at me like I wasn’t human and talked down to me like I was stupid.”

Tammy interrupted to ask, “But did he ask you what color the sun was?”

“No, but he asked me how the rain came down!”

Tammy laughed, and her laughter soothed Karen’s heart. They chatted, Tammy sympathized, and the ride passed. Karen felt her nerves relax, but her mind would not let go of its questions about how she could measure up to the experts’ standards.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 20, Scene 3: Walking Back to Class

image of school hallways with one student in it

In spite of her defeat at the hands of the psychologist, little Kitten does not give up on herself. She knows that this is a time when she will need support from her friends, and rather than giving in to negativity she plans to speak with them as soon as she can.

(Image by ChadPerez49, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 3: Walking Back to Class

Without waiting for her to leave, he began scribbling his notes. She saw that he had no interest in engaging with her, whether before, during, or after the test. He had no interest in her at all. From the moment he had left her behind, as his long legs rushed him toward the examination room, to the moment when he dismissed her with a wave toward the door, as if she were too stupid to see the only exit from his office, he had treated her with contempt. She wondered why he had become a school psychologist, since he clearly had no sympathy for disabled students.

Walking through the hushed hallway back to her classroom, she thought to herself.

I know I’m smart. I may take a little longer at topics I don’t know, but I’m not retarded! I want to talk with Tammy and Pegasus.

Shout Out for Sean Dineen’s New Podcast

My friend, Sean P. Dineen, has begun podcasting. He and his friend, Bill Weaver, are doing a show about strange things you did not know. These are things like strange laws and little-known facts from history. Did you know that Blackbeard the Pirate was eventually beheaded after being killed?

Check out the first episode here:

https://youtu.be/RJ_fJ3ZLJ9I