Little Karen keeps up her spirits and her iron determination, but a the days pass without any improvement, her thoughts become negative. She tries to hide her suffering from the two beings who have the power to alleviate it.
Scene 12: Karen Slips Into Negative Thinking
As the days passed, she found she could not walk all the way to the pier. Defeated by fatigue and grief, every day she covered less ground than the day before. By the next weekend, she had lost all the strength and endurance she had gained during her months of reading about carousels and visiting Pegasus. She could barely drag herself through the school day before collapsing at home.
Alone in her room, she vowed never to let Mama or Pegasus know how bad she felt.
What’s wrong with me? I never used to be this weak or frail. I can’t let on to Mama that something is wrong. She’ll be upset, and this will just add to her problems. I can’t let her know! I have to do my best to cover this up. I have to pretend. I won’t give Mama even one chance to see that I’m struggling. I can’t let Pegasus find out, either! It will take away his hope and belief in me. He has enough to worry about. He has to keep believing that one day we’ll be together again. If he finds out that the brace on my leg feels heavier and heavier, it will kill him. It will stop him from trying to free himself. It will take away the little breath he now breathes! I can’t let him down. I can’t!
She knew that she and Pegasus needed each other more than ever. Their lives had gone deeply wrong with the destruction of the carousel. They needed each other’s support and strength and were famished from lack of each other’s nourishing presence.
Karen’s iron determination to be strong did not fail, even as she sank deeper into sorrow. For the next week, she disciplined herself to perform and perfect the exercises she had learned from her physical therapist. She adapted and applied the training program to improve her bone and muscle strength. She forced herself to walk as far as she could, no matter how tired or weak she felt.
Like an Olympian, she practiced visualization to focus the power of her mind on breaking through this challenge of healing her body. Vigilantly, she visualized to actualize her healing process.
Inwardly compelled, she determined that she would regain and realize her highest potential. Drawing from her inner strength, she asked her infinite self to achieve her intention. With her mental, emotional and physical goals in place, she never gave in or gave up hope for herself and for her dashing, lavender stallion.
Yet, she grew weaker.
©2021, Karen Lynn-Chlup. All rights reserved.