The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 14: I’m Truthfully Not Looking Forward to Tomorrow

image of mountain trail In this last scene of Chapter 18, Karen continues to struggle with her fears. She finds some solace in a long ride on a peaceful trail of the ranch upon the back of her mentor, Pegasus. Nevertheless, at the end of the day she is still full of apprehension. (Image of Coconino National Forest, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons.)

Scene 14: I’m Truthfully Not Looking Forward to Tomorrow

After finishing breakfast and helping Mama clean the kitchen, Karen put on her warmest jacket and went out into the golden sun to be with Pegasus. They decided to take a long ride so Karen could mentally prepare herself for school the next day, and off they bounded.

They returned to the ranch and to the magical trail they had discovered on their first day, there. It had become a place that they secretly called their own, their sanctuary and their favorite place to go. As Pegasus slowly carried Karen, they talked. Tomorrow was the day she had to return to school, and in spite of her vows to herself, she was afraid.

“We cannot see the future, Kitten, but we must be prepared for what will happen when you return to school, tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course, and I am prepared for the routine part. We kids will arrive at school and get off the bus. Our teachers will greet us and take us back to our classrooms. But after that, I’m not sure. That’s not the part that makes me nervous. It’s afterwards that concerns me. It’s the learning part, Pegasus, the struggling to learn. It’s the other children. It’s the bullying and making fun of others that frightens me, and what about the experts and the doctors? What will they want to do to me?”

“You’ll be fine, Kitten. We have talked about this, before. Nobody can hurt you. You know that. Not unless you let them. Not emotionally, that is. Not unless you give them the power to get the upper hand, or give them permission to dominate you. And the doctors can’t do anything to you without your Mama’s permission, so you are safe from them, too. You can do this, Kitten. You really can! Be confident in yourself, and stand tall and proud. Don’t let anything others say affect you, especially if it’s not the truth. You know this in your heart!”

Pegasus neighed his encouragement, and they spent the day together. When the sun lowered toward the horizon, Karen nudged Pegasus toward the trail home. After she dismounted, they parted.

“Pegasus, I’m still truthfully not looking forward to tomorrow, but I know I must face it. I know I will get stronger if I do this. At least I feel a little hope, now. Will I see you in the morning?”

“Yes, Kitten. Of course, I’ll meet you by your kitchen window, bright and early.”

“Of course. Good-bye, then, until tomorrow,” Karen said, as her horse trotted away surrounded by his purple aura.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 13: Mama Thanks Pegasus

When Karen expresses her determination to make the best of her life, to be fearless and courageous, Mama feels inspired to express her own gratitude to Pegasus, without whom she and Karen would have been lost in life. (Diagram of shoe laces bow knot by AnonMoos, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.)

Scene 13: Mama Thanks Pegasus

In the kitchen, Mama looped the laces on Karen’s shoes so she could finish tying them. Then she opened the mini-blinds, and Karen saw Pegasus grazing in the yard. She giggled and beckoned with her right hand.

“Come closer,” she called to him. Turning to Mama, she asked “May I open the window and talk with Pegasus while I eat?”

Mama gave permission and then stood close by as Karen opened the window just enough to speak. The cold air rushed in, and Pegasus’ breath made streamers outside. Kitten shivered, as she shared her determination to deal with life.

“Do you know what I’ve decided, today, Pegasus?”

“No, what, Kitten? Tell me, please. I have no idea,” he said with a knowing wink.

“I have decided to find ways to rise above my daily challenges. I’m going to be brave and always give an honest effort. I’m going to find ways to be fearless and courageous.”

“That’s my girl! Copacetic! Go get ‘em, tiger!”

Mama smiled, and for the first time she spoke to the life-changing stallion.

“Pegasus, I can’t begin to tell you how much your help means to me. It’s been hard being a widow with a child with disabilities, especially when you tend to go to extremes yourself. I never knew if I should keep Karen home and be completely overprotective with her, or if I should take her from one expert to another and risk following some of their advice. I never felt like I could find a healthy balance between protecting her and encouraging her to embrace the challenges of life. But now, you have helped both of us find that balance. You have given us the spiritual insight to change ourselves and to embrace life. You have given us better advice than any expert ever has. Every day, as you guide my Kitten, you show me new ways to encourage my daughter without being over-demanding or stifling her ability to think for herself. For the first time since I authorized that terrible shot, I feel like we are on the right path.”

Pegasus nodded in appreciation, and Karen kissed Mama.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 12: Awakening and Dressing

In this scene, Karen sets her intention to stay positive and happy. Then she puts on a favorite outfit. Notice all the steps she has to go through, and how when she knows she needs help she is not ashamed to ask. (Image created by Victoria Lee Croasdell, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.037, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 12: Awakening and Dressing

On Sunday, morning’s canopy ascended over the horizon, displaying a beautiful array of colors. The saffron sun rose, shining brightly through Kitten’s bedroom window, vivid and warm and full of good feelings. Minutes later, her pink clock radio went off, and Kitten greeted another new day.

Today is a new and beautiful day! Today, I am going to find ways to remain positive and happy.

She got out of bed and washed her face. The air was chilly, so she warmed her toes over the small floor heat register as she dressed. Slipping into each article of clothing, she tried to get herself toasty for a brisk morning outside.

From a dresser drawer, she took her favorite pullover sweater. Her aunt had knitted it of beige yarn, and it had three kites knitted on her left shoulder. One was small and avocado green, one was medium and red, and one was large and brown. Putting it on took several steps. First, she put her left arm into the left sleeve and pulled the sleeve up with her strong right hand. Then, using her right hand, she pulled the sweater over her head, and slipped her right arm through its sleeve.

She could do this much independently, but she had to ask Mama for help looping the laces on her shoes.

How People With Disabilities Can Use Technology to Advance their Careers by Jillian Day

Image via Pexels

[Editor’s note: Jillian Day created 508Assist.org to help people all across the web make their sites accessible to individuals with disabilities. She was inspired to start 508Assist.org when a close family member, who happens to have a visual impairment, had trouble finding a dinner recipe online that he could read easily. When she’s not chasing after her little ones, Jillian enjoys being outside, whether she’s fishing, hiking, or geocaching with her family.]

Living with a disability is difficult. Sometimes it feels like a task getting through a whole day. Now imagine trying to pursue a career or job hunt while disabled; it requires a lot of hard work, persistence, and creativity in order to find a job as a disabled person in America. Unfortunately, people with disabilities do 60% more job hunting compared to those without.

Luckily, new technology is making things easier for people living with disabilities. They are now able to contribute their skills and creativity to the economy in workplaces that were initially designed for people without disabilities.

Making sure that people with disabilities get access to employment opportunities is not only ethical, but it’s also beneficial to the economy. Let’s see how people with disabilities can use technology to advance their careers.

Job hunting

Thanks to technology, someone living with a disability is able to find employment from the comfort of their home. In fact, unemployed rates for disabled people dropped to 8% in 2018. Also, employers are changing working spaces to accommodate people with disabilities.

More jobs like writing, web design, data entry, and marketing can be done remotely, while other employers want you to telecommute. The internet and smart devices have made all this possible.

There are a million platforms on the web today for people looking for remote or onsite employment. As someone who is disabled, you just need to create an eye-catching resume and apply. This time around you will have the same chance as everybody else.

Moreover, we have numerous materials that you can look through which will help you through job hunting and job interviews. Although you are not required by the law to be upfront about your disability, it’s advised that you are. When you freely discuss your limitations and how you are going to tackle assigned tasks, as well as any required accommodations you will need, the interviewer will feel confident that you are the right choice for the position.

Connect with others

However accommodative a workplace may be, you might want to be in a place where you familiarize yourself and are able to relate to people who relate with you. This is why it is important to create a network of people who understand you and may have a similar experience to you.

Thanks to growing technology, there are sites like NARIC that have all the resources you need to help you through every single day. They have a myriad of resources and support groups that will help you connect with people you can relate to.

Another way to network is through social media platforms. Today, everyone is on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and Snapchat. They have many disability groups where you can create conversations, discuss a topic or get your burning questions answered by people going through what you are.

Remote learning

Because of technology, people with disabilities can get a bachelor’s degree or a master’s online. Also, because of the pandemic, many people find it easier and more accessible to take classes in the comfort of their homes instead of the traditional classroom.

Online schools give you the chance to study while employed and still be able to carry out your daily activities with ease. Online learning has become life-changing. There are a variety of degree programs that will enable you to access different industries, from business to criminology, to marketing, psychology, and others.

When searching for an online school, ensure that it’s accredited so that whatever degree or certification you get will be legit. Additionally, make sure that the tuition fees are competitive and you won’t have to break the bank in order to study.

Conclusion

People with disabilities face difficulties daily. It’s unfair that they have to go through more difficulties in their careers as well. Luckily, with advanced technology, things are a bit easier for them, from accessibility to comfort.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 11: Tears of Relief

In this scene, Kitten uses meditation and mindfulness to prevent her mind from painting images of catastrophe that would terrify her. She eventually finds rest under her white duvet. (Photo by Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash)

Scene 11: Tears of Relief

Karen looked over at her bed. She was tired, but dreaded the possibility of another night of sleepless worry. She remained on her window seat and gazed up at the stars. Her lips began a poem she had learned long ago. “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight…”

Taking her exquisitely disabled left hand into her strong right, she recalled what Pegasus had just told her. Voice soft but firm, she said aloud, “I affirm that my mind is at peace and is very, very still. Nothing can or will harm me. Nothing can get the better of me. I have complete hope and faith within myself. I have the courage of a lion. I have a spiritual entity within myself that fearlessly faces the fears I fear the most. I rest in peace and security knowing that all is as it should be, for even my tormentors are my teachers. Every day, I grow in health and wisdom, and I will reaffirm this every single day.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She was overwhelmed with gratitude, and she joyously allowed the tears to flow down her cheeks. She would keep this promise to herself and to her horse.

She dried her tears with a Kleenex from the box on her bedside table. In the bathroom, she warmed the tub with more hot water and slipped into it, soaking away her woes, meditating peacefully. Re-empowered, she dried herself and put on her pajamas before sliding beneath the white duvet with its pattern of pink butterflies, and arranging her pillows so they were perfect.

She allowed her mind, her body, and her soul to relax even further. She allowed her mind to think only gentle, empowering thoughts, and no sooner did she visualize herself sitting on the Santa Monica beach, looking out over the ocean, than did she fall peacefully asleep.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 10: Bath Time

Kitten tries to be brave, but even though Pegasus believes in her and knows she can deal with anything she has to face, but her mood is not so confident. (Image courtesy of Vincent Le Moign, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 10: Bath Time

Indoors, Kitten smiled. Pegasus had put her worries into perspective. She feared neither her worries nor the realities that brought them on.

In the bathroom, she opened the tub’s taps and shook some Mr. Bubble under the spout. When the tub was full, she turned off the water and went to her bedroom. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she felt herself relax, but then, through the bedroom window, she saw Pegasus outside.

She moved to her window seat and carefully raised the mini-blinds and the lower sash. With the stars shining down upon her, she asked, “What are you doing here, Pegasus?”

“I was concerned about you, Kitten, so I remained by your window.”

When she answered, her voice was as faint as the unseasonably warm January wind that rustled the branches of the trees.

“I’m all right. I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying to stay in the present and not let my mind wander into worry. I keep lassoing it in, whenever it does.”

“It isn’t easy, is it?” he asked. “Yet, you can sleep well, knowing that you are ready for next week even though it is not yet here.”

“You always know how to make me feel better, Pegasus. What’s that new word you taught me? Mmmmm… Mun—munif—munificent! That’s it! Plus, pleasureful and pulchritudinous, like Joshua always says. Those are not just words now. They have come to life for you and me.”

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help you, sweet Kitten, but remember what I told you on the mountain. Think ahead, but keep your thoughts positive. When you fear the future, counteract your fear with fearlessness. Think of how things could work out for the best. This will change the power of your thoughts from negative to positive, so that they work for you instead of against you.”

Karen watched as his lavender glow exploded into a fiery purple blaze, and then he silently turned and trotted back toward the stables.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 9: Why is School so Scary?

image of sun rays through clouds at dusk In this scene, little Kitten reflects on how to deal with the reality of school and the equally real reality of her own feelings. Fortunately, her wise mentor guides her through. (Image courtesy of Brocken Inaglory, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

Scene 9: Why is School so Scary?

Pegasus knelt and Kitten climbed onto his back for the ride home. After a few steps, she asked, “Why is school so scary for me, Pegasus?”

He replied, “You already know the answer to that question, Kitten, but it doesn’t have to be scary, anymore. The spirit of the universe and your Mama will protect you. I will be here for you. You can accept challenges with gratitude. They help you grow. There are no accidents in this world, Kitten. Everything happens for a reason and for a purpose. Your life is full of unique challenges, but that is because you are uniquely suited to face these challenges and to show the world that they can be faced by someone with CP and a learning disability. You are resilient and you can fight whatever horrors the doctors dream up for you and your friends.”

The ride home ended, and Karen waited for Pegasus to kneel so she could dismount.

Leaning against the barrel of his side, she whispered, “I’ll see you in the morning, boy! Thanks for everything. You are wonderful. You are an awe-inspiring friend. You are a blessing to me. I’m so obliged that you came into my life and lit my way.”

She dismounted and waved as Pegasus left.

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 8: Doubts Return

image of rock surrounded by reflection of clouds in the sea

Sometimes, even though we have a good perspective on a difficult area in life, we still feel overwhelmed by doubts. We feel isolated and misunderstood. That’s when we need a friend like Pegasus to mentor us. (Image courtesy of Dietmar Rabich / Wikimedia Commons / “Haltern am See, Sythen, Silbersee III — 2019 — 2993” / CC BY-SA 4.0)

Scene 8: Doubts Return

Kitten was mentally and physically tired from thinking about what would happen, when school resumed. She took a deep breath of cool evening air, held it as long as she could, and then slowly exhaled, trying to release the tension that had returned after her insight. Life looked more complicated than it had in the morning.

Under the streetlights that illuminated the sidewalk between her new home and the ranch, she took one careful step at a time. She did not want to trip. On the ranch’s uneven gravel driveway, she picked up both of her feet, especially the left one, which tended to drag. She was grateful but exhausted when she reached the barn, only to find that Pegasus’ stall was empty. After resting a few minutes on a bale of hay, she limped on to the pasture, where she found him grazing under the stars.

Her mentor asked her how she was and why she was visiting after dark. As she replied, her voice trembled and her heart swelled. Her insights filled her with emotion, and her words came with increasing intensity.

“The second semester of school starts next week, Pegasus, and I’m afraid of the experts who will be there. I’m afraid of what they may do to me and my classmates. Twice a year they visit our school, every September and every January, to hold a clinic and recommend treatments. They look at us and our bodies with cold eyes, as if we were things of no value, inanimate objects not living beings, things to be treated with little or no respect. You’d think that with their education and training, they would have compassion for people with disabilities, but at best, they give us sympathy and pity, which we don’t want.

“Wouldn’t it be better if the experts taught us what we need to be healthy, functioning human beings physically, mentally, and emotionally, having a meaning and purpose in life without taking from the government? But, no! They see us as damaged goods and fit only to be institutionalized, locked up, mindlessly watching The Flintstones all day. Maybe somewhere else in the world things are different, but not here and not now.

“What’s more, they always come up with new surgical procedures and want to use us kids in Special Ed like guinea pigs, especially us kids with cerebral palsy and paralysis. That’s why I’m terrified of what these experts will want to do to me. I’ve seen other children go to clinic, get a leave of absence from school, and come back scarred and worse than before they left. I don’t want that to happen to me or to anyone else.”

Pegasus responded in his calm, soothing voice.

“Kitten, there are two things you need to understand. First, you don’t have to go through this alone. None of these procedures can happen without your Mama’s consent. In the past, she succumbed to professional bullying and her own desperation, so she gave in to the whims of the experts, but she won’t, now. She is much more enlightened, now. Second, you can deal with your worries. Be proud of your beautiful disabled body and of your mind. Let go of your negative thoughts, so that the great, motherly spirit of the universe can guide and comfort you. Accept your feelings and worries in the present. You don’t have to think about tomorrow, or anything past this minute. I believe you have come to intuit that. Just take a deep breath and be present. The spirit of the universe will provide you with ways to deal with your problems. I’m right here by your side, Kitten. Nothing is going to harm you. I will help you through this moment and through every other.”

She replied, “Okay, boy, that makes sense. I felt my heart become still and light, as you spoke. You and Mama and the universe itself will get me through this. I don’t have to live with constant fear and worry. You’re the best friend anyone could have. Do you know that?”

“Thank you, but try to remember what I just said. Try to let go of your fears. Think ahead, but keep your thoughts positive. When you fear the future, counteract your fear by thinking of how things could work out for the best. This will change the power of your thoughts from negative to positive, so that they work for you instead of against you. Letting go of worry is not easy, especially when life has taught you to be a little worrier, but you can do it. I will always be here to help you.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice cracking, “I’ll give this my best. The positive spirit of the universe will help us overcome any difficulty. We will grow from the experience. The future is promising, not frightening. Actually, my intuition gave me this insight, this morning, but my doubts had returned. Your words have helped me a lot.”

The Healing Horse, Ch. 18, Scene 7: Retreat for a Day

peaceful image of wide green pasture surrounded by trees

With this scene, the reader (you, dear friend) continues to learn about little Kitten’s worries and what brought them on. She tries to retreat into herself, but the worries follow, no matter how much she wishes her inner life to be calm. (Image of Bohemian Baltimore, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.)

Scene 7: Retreat for a Day

She spent the day alone at home, ruminating without Pegasus or anyone else to interfere with her thoughts and feelings. This seemed like a constructive use for her last Saturday before school resumed. Sitting in the back yard and enjoying the morning sun, she willed herself to let go of her worries and trust the spirit of the universe to guide her and those in her circle. She felt she had confronted her fears and that she could face anything without trepidation, even new academic challenges and the doctors. Her self-esteem had never been stronger, and her will to be fearless grew taller and taller. Yet, worries about school wore at her all day.

Mama got home in the late afternoon. For dinner, she made omelettes the way Kitten liked them, with sautéed onions and mushrooms carefully folded into the eggs. Kitten thought they were delicious, and that the best ingredient was Mama’s love.

After helping her clean the kitchen, Kitten decided that this was the time to put her fearless new approach into action.

“Mama, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to go out for some fresh air. I haven’t seen Pegasus all day, and I’d like to visit him. Besides, I need to clear my head.”

Mama said, “Yes, my Krana Layala. By all means. I understand.”

Kitten bravely stepped through the front door and onto the porch.

The Healing Horse, Ch 18., Scene 5: Remembering a Victim

In this scene, we learn the sad story of one of Kitten’s friends—a little boy who died because of medical malpractice, when he was only eight years old. But, instead of working herself into a rage, or worrying herself into panic, Karen recognizes that she not only needs to learn to stand up to the doctors, so they do not do something similar to her, but she needs to get past her worry and resentment. They can be as deadly as any human. Likewise, she finds inspiration in the Civil Rights Movement and vows to apply the same principles to the rights of people with disabilities.

The two pictures are of me as a little girl and me, today, speaking for and to people with disabilities.

Karen at age 4 wearing her leg brace

image of Karen Lynn-Chlup delivering a keynote

The author delivering a keynote address

Scene 5: Remembering a Victim

Tears flowed from her closed eyelids, as she saw in memory a small boy, an eight-year-old, who had attended her school and had been a friend. He had cerebral palsy, like Kitten, but it affected the right side of his body rather than the left. His mind was completely normal and without any learning disabilities. He had a happy disposition and made the other children laugh with his jokes. Aside from his right leg dragging to the side, his gait was good, and he managed most tasks with his left hand.

She had missed him when he did not come to school for a week. When he returned, she was happy to see him, but then she saw what had happened to him. The doctors had performed surgery to improve the use of his right hand, but rather than improving it, they had made it worse.

It hung and swung with each step he took, trailing like a loose pendulum from his wrist. It looked completely unnatural, and he complained that it hurt.

He stopped laughing after that.

The next Monday, he did not return to school. When Karen asked her teacher what had happened to him, the teacher said he had developed a staph infection from the surgery and died.

Thinking back over the experience, Karen realized that the doctors had killed the boy in their greed, and that they could do the same to her. She had to be strong and stand up to them.

In a flash, she realized that she had never allowed herself to think like this before. She had never permitted herself to imagine being so bold, so assertive, or so brave. Her first walk to the carousel was where this bravery germinated. Now, she knew that this was her time. She knew that her disabilities were not accidents. She knew that this was her opportunity to teach others. She was not a Tiny Tim like she had read about in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. She was not anyone’s inspiration to perfection. She was a smart, young girl who had something wonderful to offer the world, and that included the strength imparted by her cerebral palsy and perceptual disabilities! From Pegasus’ teaching, she had learned that the source of her energy and strength came from her accomplishments—even from the ones that seemed to be disasters rather than triumphs. She found empowerment in the sentiments, perceptions, and logic of her heart. These were direct results of her new sense of self.

She was not going to allow anyone to bully her into becoming an experimental subject for these self-important experts. She would maintain her human dignity and her pride in her disabilities. This was a new beginning. She would fight for her life like no one had ever fought before.

This Herculean cognizance had been locked deep within her being. Now, she felt it transforming her just as Pegasus had metamorphosed from a wooden fantasy horse into a living spiritual guide. At the same time, her new awareness brought her back to reality.

So many people are trying to change things. People are marching for Civil Rights and against pollution. I, too, must march for my dream of a world in which toxic and tainted thinking about people with disabilities won’t exist anymore. We won’t be judged by our disabilities anymore than by the color of our skin! With Pegasus by my side, I will present the world with a new view of cerebral palsy, with something fresh and not stereotypical!

Yet, as she cleaned the counter, her feelings of apprehension returned to gnaw at her—the experts were so much older and more powerful and better educated than she was. Perhaps, she could find something within herself that she could hide from them, something intangible but powerful. It had to be constructive and optimistic because that’s who she really was. She knew that, no matter how unenlightened the experts were, if she continued resenting and fearing them, her own anxiety would destroy her. She had to confront both her own feelings and the doctors.