The Healing Horse, Ch 2, Scene 3: Struggling

As a first-grader, I had no idea why I could not recall what I read. The other kids could. Why couldn’t I? Fortunately, I did not let myself become discouraged, so after some hard times, I did eventually learn to read and to love reading. But that comes later in the story.

Scene 3: Struggling

Karen wanted to learn, but though she poured her soul into acquiring knowledge, everything she attempted to memorize, be it word, date, or fact flew straight out of her head; neither did it return. She could not retain information. The more endurance and effort she demanded of herself, the more her memory choked. Material she committed to it was rarely there on demand. Her perceptual learning difficulties, rather than her determination and effort, determined her level of success in English, social studies and math.

Without questioning why this happened, she took the business of learning seriously. With every neuron of her brain, with every sinew of her body, with every prayer of her soul, Kitten disciplined herself. To her young soul, there were no accidents in the universe. She never passively waited for providence to intervene. She never wavered. She did her homework assignments on time. She was not afraid to make mistakes because she always learned from them. She faced her trials with an inner power and strength that helped her conquer her outer world obstacles.

Climbing over each hurdle, Karen’s inner self became stronger, and her imagination flowered. As Karen tried to accomplish her assignments, she found that letters, words, phrases and numbers twisted around in her brain. She transposed letters and added a confusing letter s where it did not belong. She began reading a page, but then found that when she reached the end she could not remember any of the content.

She became so frustrated with herself that the frustration itself became a problem. The harder she tried, the harder it was for her to complete the homework. Learning was a constant struggle, but she never ran away from it. She knew she had been given this challenge for a reason, even though she felt humiliated by it.

Regardless of her academic difficulties, Kitten never complained, nor did she ever give in as she continued her childhood journey through life. Anguish and humbling experiences were her building blocks as she developed compassion and self-knowledge, although, just like any other little girl, she needed reassurance from Mama, who usually quieted her daughter’s fears.

©2020, Karen Lynn-Chlup. All rights reserved.

#cerebralpalsy #dyslexia #inspirationalwriting


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