As a child, I worked hard on myself. I consciously strove to development my independence, even though I often felt lonely. I knew I would have challenges in every area of life, but I did not let fear of them stand in my way. I was determined to make my outer life as rich as my inner world.

Scene 5: Spring Arrives. K Develops Internally but Struggles Externally

May had sprung, and these dreamy thoughts promised new hope for Karen. As she became more secure in her own being, she took her first steps into the larger world that her development opened to her, a world of acquired independence, interdependence, self-determination, and courage, a world in which Karen would follow and develop her own instincts.

While her internal world was expanding, she still had difficulty with the outside world. Though she managed most activities, her right side did the work, as she could not do everything like other children. Her right arm was strong like a lion; her left, as weak as the kitten she was named for. She walked with a syncopated beat and a rhythmic pattern to compensate for her tendency to drag her left toes. She learned to bend her left knee and to pick up her leg, but sometimes her left foot would still drag. The strength of her right leg could not mute the clank of the steel brace she wore on her left.

As her abilities grew, so did her expectations of herself and her drive to succeed. Reading, homework, and everything else took more time and effort than they did for other children, but rather than letting herself feel discouraged, she resolved to devote every waking moment to becoming the best person she could be.

Karen knew that there would be struggles and challenges in every area of her life. This insight prompted her to seek support wherever she could find it. More and more, she was growing to be an advocate like her mother. So, too, was Mama becoming a better advocate.

Being shy and timid did not help. Her lack of confidence kept her to herself more than she wanted. A quiet child with few friends, she went to a nearby elementary school playground for fun, and usually played alone. Her outward appearance was always bubbly and cheerful, and she never let anyone know her inner loneliness. She quietly kept these emotions to herself.

#cerebralpalsy #dyslexia #inspirational #loneliness

©2020, Karen Lynn-Chlup. All rights reserved.