ANGEL
I have an angel,
She watches over me
I have an angel,
She speaks through me.
I have an angel,
She sweetly works through me
But most of all,
I have an angel who
Lives within me
Guiding, guarding,
And protecting
Me!
Protect me
from those days of not long ago,
And make my way
Your loving way!
It was the middle of 1983. I looked into the black clouds filling the sky, ready to pour down on my friend and me. Suddenly, an albatross soared above us.
Seeing this bird gripped my thoughts and feelings. How was I going to make it through the storms of life? As the emotion stung my heart, I thought again. Was I going to have a chance in life like everyone else?
After admitting these feelings to myself, they softened, and I felt the albatross was a sign to accept myself unconditionally, to become strong and proud, and bravely be who the infinite power wanted me to be, in an honest and loving way.
ALBATROSS
As I looked into the gray sky,
The clouds stormed with rage.
And in the distance,
Flying through the sky,
Was an albatross!
Such a gentle-natured bird
Which clings to my every thought.
His strength has such force,
An enduring passion
In which it grasps my every move!
My albatross is not dead!
It wove a beautiful necklace
Around my neck, like a garland of lace,
To remind me of my tumultuous past!
This poem speaks for itself. However, this relationship with this man was based on spoken untruths from the beginning. Call it sweet talk, if you want—misleading words to make someone believe something, when really he was minimizing me, a person with a so-called disability as he must have thought.
But I saw his truth, and it hurt deeply, because he couldn’t be honest with me and tell me how he truly felt, so we could not end our relationship amicably.
ABSENT HEARTBEAT
It was only a week, and my heart became one with yours!
We smiled. We laughed.
We even danced our hearts on fire.
We shared a sentiment that only one universe unites.
And then you left!
We parted with bitter, sweet goodbyes!
You told me our love would always live in our hearts and minds.
Only now, we both painfully feel the lonely passage of time!
We just met, and now we are separated
From each other’s arms.
Yet not too far for hearts that are entwined!
And not too far for lovers of one mind!
Oh, how unfair and, yes, so unkind!
Why does it have to be a test each time?
Haven’t we proved our unspoken words or
Isn’t it enough our solemn vows?
I long for your tender lips,
Your hungry heart,
The enduring physical embodiment of your soul
Only to encompass the
Mingling with mine!
I will sip the sweet words you quietly speak,
And believe bravely
To brace these unbearable times!
It is not easy
To count the minutes of each day,
The minutes of each week,
Only to find months that have slipped by!
I look amongst the cold crowds!
I search for your smile!
I look for your chestnut calm,
But wherever you are, you are not there!
I long for your touch to take the emptiness away.
My vision of you is dimming.
Your image is fading fast!
But I will NOT let that be!
I will not let your light extinguish from my mind and being!
Believe me when I say
We must be! We will be!
We must both find a way.
We must both breathe the same breath that will sustain
Us through this sequence of time!
Don’t give up my other half,
Don’t give in to this unquenchable urge,
As we must help each other
Through this difficult passage.
We will find a way to be together.
We must! We have to!
We will transcend this dauntless duration,
We will kiss again. And I will touch your tender soul
With your sweetness leading me to your wailing call!
Only to feel your faint breath so desperate for mine!
I will touch you.
I will soothe you.
I will answer your plea!
I will answer your heart with mine!
I will come to thee
With all the simple joys that will make
Your heart, our heart, happy and whole!
I wrote this poem during my college years, while taking a walk with a man who tutored me. It was like a brother/sister relationship. Little by little, I trusted him more and more. He was brilliant and somehow knew exactly how to teach me. He was totally dedicated to teaching me. Somehow, between 1980 and 1985, he not only taught me how to study with classical music playing, or music without lyrics, but how to reduce the time I needed to complete my tests from forty-two hours down to two hours. I learned to remember school material, and to enjoy reading and taking books out of the library. He taught me not just how to write, but grammar, punctuation, and alliteration.
He made learning easy, without pressure. It was fun. I would meet him on campus, take my classes, and spend eight hours afterwards, studying with him.
He gave me projects to think or write about, like writing in haiku. On the day I wrote this poem, we were walking, when I spotted a group of ladybugs. It brought such a smile to my face, full of delight and whimsy, a childlike playfulness, and fancy. I want to share it with you now.
[Image credit: Daderot, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons]
ASYLUM
Oh, vicious world, so cruel and cold,
Come, take me from
My darkest woe!
Original text ©2023 by Karen Lynn-Chlup. All rights reserved.
Ken Masson, the founder of the Post-Polio Advocacy Group in Rotary International, asked me to interview about my life story. Issues such as growing up with disabilities and then being labeled as borderline mentally retarded as an adult, and making my way through it all, loomed large.
In this interview, Ken asks me about my mother’s attitude, how dance changed my life, how my advocacy work improved my life, and how I made this life wonderful. I have a wonderful husband, a loving family. I now have it all.
And I have written a memoir that expresses not only my feelings, but the realities of my life.
Listen to how I made it all work out.
A WORD
A word can
Describe many meanings
If only I could
Understand them!
In this blog post, I will take you on a vivid journey to a time past. It’s about one of our most important holidays where everyone gathers together to celebrate. It’s about the warmth of family and community.
This story lives deep within my veins. At one time, people valued one another more than now. We had a sense of belonging. There was less depression. More happiness, less tribalism, and more world acceptance and unity. It’s very important for me to share this with you, because everything has changed. These changes have had a strong and far-reaching effect on everyone’s lives and the world we live in today.
As a person with cerebral palsy and dyslexia, family and friends meant more to me than to a lot of people. We valued them and their diversity. During this season, and having few friends, this meant opening our innermost selves to others. We looked forward to having people over to our house. There was an anticipation in the air. Getting dressed up, visiting with our loved ones, playing and talking with my cousins, and helping make family recipes with my Mama Katie. It was wonderful, and I still remember smelling the warm scent of her cooking.
I would breathe in the delicious aromas of her kugel, roasted chicken with garlic, rosemary, thyme, sage, marjoram and salt. Her delectable sweet potatoes with cinnamon and cloves and melted butter drizzled throughout. And Mama’s homemade cranberry sauce, and a wonderful salad to feast on, along with warm feelings and memories.
This gaiety was emotionally satisfying. I felt a belonging. A warm uplifting, which meant even more to me, especially being a shy, young girl, with a full length metal leg brace and a paralyzed left arm, trying hard to fit in. My life was hard at that age. I had a lot of challenges and I wanted to make myself the best person I could become.
Slowly, though, over the past seven decades, the richness of our distinct heritages as a collective world has diminished. We have a powerful pull toward our own. We stay to ourselves more. And we don’t value the gifts we possess that make us unique. We are afraid to make meaningful friendships. Thus, there is an underlying unspoken loyalty.
We give thanks, yet we don’t. We find unattractive features in a person’s character, rather than their goodness. It is saddening that we collectively have lost our ability to sincerely give thanks for one another; losing our way and our heritage of family and loved ones. We have forgotten how to be kind and caring. That’s what this time of year is all about.
We seem to have lost our skills and the means to celebrate our diversity. We see these things differently than generations past. We have lost our methods to broaden and expand our outlook, to make larger our points of view see something in a different frame of mind, or someone in a whole new light. It is very difficult to bring someone who is different into our life, or to welcome others into our circle and incorporate the good things about them. We have forgotten how to take in the goodness others possess. We have forgotten the experiences of our past and how to change for the better, and how to open our minds and hearts. Sadly, we have forgotten how to welcome and embrace others into our lives and share joyfully.
In the past, people valued their connections more. They took solace in having other people around. They wanted that connection. They thrived on it. They wanted that human bond. It sustained them. Now, it doesn’t mean as much, or anything at all. It means nothing. It hardly exists.
In closing, what can every one of us do to bring kindness, compassion, joy, acceptance, and a readiness to consider something without prejudice, and so to change our lives and others? It only takes a smile or one kind word. Can we find it within our best selves to make that effort? If we can open our hearts just a little, think of the good that will happen because of our actions and deeds? Think of how its effects can snowball in positive ways. This process will change your life for the good forever. All you have to do is just one thing. One thing to work towards a positive change in this world. Think about how you can find it within. Think of how you will feel. Your heart will find peace. Balance and comfort will fill your life. It’s so simple… And beneficial. It will bring the state of unity and join us as a whole. Will you give it some thought?
Original text ©2023 by Karen Lynn-Chlup. All rights reserved.
