Reflections of My Heart: Constellations

One night, a violet star illuminated the sky above me.

It shone brilliantly and honestly, a bright light that guided me as I took action and made myself into me, the person no one saw.

It guided me into taking the actions I had to take to make me the person no one saw, and it guided me as I became the person everyone saw and applauded.

CONSTELLATIONS

The tears of emptiness
Dropped down my face
With a violet star
Striking me with its grace!

It glistened brightly
With its
Illuminating light
Calling me
To the constellation’s
Continuous flight.

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Circle of Friends

I wrote this poem to a dear friend. He was the first person, in a long time, to hear my call, to take me under his wing, and to help me shine.

He was true. He did not spout words and then give me the brush off. Sincere help was what I needed, and he gave it. I could trust his words.

images of words

He gave me a purpose to continue dreaming and making something more of myself, rather than rotting away.

He continues helping me make my impossible dreams possible. As part of my circle of true blues, who care and help, he earned a place on my list of lifelong friends. He made me smile when I cried my heart out and gave me hope that empowered me. Above all, he helped me keep alive my dream of helping others and giving to the world.

That and more.

Perhaps you have someone like that in your life. Feel free to share in the comments.

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

Welcome to my circle of friends!
Where your friendship means the world to me
Where friendships are made from the heart
And felt with the heart. Where friendships are created
From the depth of our very being
Where friendships smile from within out
And where a kind and honest word means something

You, my friend,
Are all that, and more
You came to me as an answer to my prayer
You came to me from the angels watching over me
You came to me with a divine presence to give
To all

You, my friend, radiate sunlight
With each sincere word you speak.

You, my friend,
Are a joy to spend time with
You know how to laugh,
Smile, and create happy moments
For others.

You, my friend,
Are a fine example of truth and hope
That is why I welcome you
To my circle of friends!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Crashing

Photo of mother blue bird feeding her baby

When I wrote this poem, I was taking another walk, about 11:30 in the morning, down a tree-lined street in West Hollywood, California. The towering trees were beautiful. I’m sorry I don’t know what kind they were.

Lost in thought and worry, the sight of a baby sparrow falling from its nest to its death brought me back to reality. That broken body on the sidewalk could have been me. If I hadn’t had the mother I did, I would have been tossed out to die after I got the DPT shot and cerebral palsy.

Realizing this empowered me to see beyond my complaints and feel more grateful for my life and the mama who raised, cared for, and loved me for who I was. She gave me a foundation for living my life.

CRASHING

In the midday sun,
A small bird fell from its nest~
Crashing to its death!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: City Walls

image of sparrows sitting on a wall

Back in the 70s and 80s, I was just a CP person with pipe dreams, a rebel with a cause, but with no one beside me, except for my dance teacher Al Gilbert and my friend Robert. Like the birds in the poem, I was nowhere to be seen. Like most people with disabilities, I was invisible in our society.

The chirping I heard sang the same melody I heard in my heart. I knew what I had to do. Whether or not anyone wanted to help me, I would do everything in my power to climb out of the quicksand of labeling and discrimination.

Within the well of my being, I knew that if anyone at all gave me the tiniest bit of help, just a hand up, I could move forward at that crucial time in life.

I had to keep speaking up and never acquiesce to these negative life experiences of being ignored. They would alter my life for the worst. Not just for the worse, but for the worst.

To accept this, I had to make a huge decision to change not only my belief structure, but my mind-set, my attitude, and how I looked at life.

The chirping was a calling. Those lonely birds sang to me, and I heeded their call. I sang back to them. And I sing still to this day.

CITY WALLS

Nowhere to be seen
I hear lonely birds chirping
Within city walls…

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Cherished Symphony

Image of musical notation scale

I thought I had found someone who saw life like I did, and that inspired this poem. But once again, it was a lesson for my inner self. These precious moments were for me to see the type of person I was and who I was becoming. And they were for me alone. The men who came into my life taught me I was deeper than them. That I was kind and honest, and that I couldn’t and wouldn’t settle for less in them. That I deserved more. I deserved to be cherished and to cherish myself. At that moment, I knew. And I have kept that realization close to my heart ever since.

CHERISHED SYMPHONY

Oh, how I ponder
The thought of your sweet, tender
Symphony playing ever so sweetly
In my thoughts and mind.

They sing so sweetly with every chord
I listen carefully, I Hear, And I know
That our moments are forever moments
That will soon be cherished through time.

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Broken Beliefs

photo of bride in Lisbon

I look into the sky, a beautiful purple stream of light before me, dark, and full of destiny. I take a deep breath into my belly, filling my root chakras. This is a bridge to my future and how I perceive my life and how I can help the world around me.

In seconds, the despair disappears, the intense feeling gone. I feel my breath, my voice, my being. I am free. I see that having CP and enduring everything I have gone though made me that person who can bridge the divide. I can be the one who speaks up and out for the voiceless, who are afraid. And, maybe this will change the path for others.

I think often, how did I do this? But, I had no choice but to be myself. It was not only a challenge, but my destiny. So I did it with all my being.

I think back many a times. Maybe I was given all those challenges as an instrument to develop me, so I could help others. Maybe because I faced things that no one ever talked about was my way out. Maybe, the universe threw me all these curves because he knew I was strong even though I felt weak. And I went through them all by myself.

Because of this, I knew this was the time to accept, to heal, and to leave the hurt, pain and all these experiences to the universe so I could move forward to help others and become a symbol of joy and disability pride to help others like me.

BROKEN BELIEFS

In the dusk,

I see a

Purple passage,

A bridge like no other I’ve seen before!

This bandage is a bandage to heal

Broken beliefs, and mend the

Many moments of a tremulous life left behind!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Blazing

photo of firefighter shooting a stream of water to put our a fire

Life for me seemed to get more complicated. It felt like the walls were closing in. Again. No room to breathe or have a break to get though the next storm in my life. No peace of mind. Or simply a pause to smell the flowers. So I got my feelings out in a constructive way, so I could find peace in accepting all that was happening in my life without giving an inch to the people and institutions that discriminated against anyone with a disability.

In this poem, everything before me seemed to turn against me. Then the loneliness of despair. Despair set in.

It just kept getting darker for me. I was outraged.

I remember getting through my rage by screaming into a pillow and writing in my journal, ripping through the pages with anger, hurt, and despair. I had to release my feelings to remain calm until the red sky passed.

But even in the fire of anger, a rainbow manifested in my sky.

BLAZING

The black-fisted nights
Turned into
Purple days of loneliness!

And as I walk the cold streets,
I call out to nature’s gifts
To mankind!

They answer with expressionless emotion!

I kept walking only for the day to
Turn into a
Burnt crimson blaze!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Image of Fire Fighting by David Dixon, CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.043, via Wikimedia Commons

Reflections of My Heart: Angel

image of angel whispering to a baby I have often felt a guiding spirit within myself, an angel who leads me through the hard times and whispers to me reminders of the beauty of life. This poem arose in my heart during one of those moments.

ANGEL

I have an angel,
She watches over me

I have an angel,
She speaks through me.

I have an angel,
She sweetly works through me

But most of all,
I have an angel who
Lives within me
Guiding, guarding,
And protecting
Me!

Protect me
from those days of not long ago,
And make my way
Your loving way!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Albatross

Photo of albatross flying over sea

It was the middle of 1983. I looked into the black clouds filling the sky, ready to pour down on my friend and me. Suddenly, an albatross soared above us.

Seeing this bird gripped my thoughts and feelings. How was I going to make it through the storms of life? As the emotion stung my heart, I thought again. Was I going to have a chance in life like everyone else?

After admitting these feelings to myself, they softened, and I felt the albatross was a sign to accept myself unconditionally, to become strong and proud, and bravely be who the infinite power wanted me to be, in an honest and loving way.

ALBATROSS

As I looked into the gray sky,
The clouds stormed with rage.

And in the distance,
Flying through the sky,
Was an albatross!

Such a gentle-natured bird
Which clings to my every thought.
His strength has such force,
An enduring passion
In which it grasps my every move!

My albatross is not dead!
It wove a beautiful necklace
Around my neck, like a garland of lace,
To remind me of my tumultuous past!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Absent Heartbeat

Photo of Rodin's sculpture The Kiss

This poem speaks for itself. However, this relationship with this man was based on spoken untruths from the beginning. Call it sweet talk, if you want—misleading words to make someone believe something, when really he was minimizing me, a person with a so-called disability as he must have thought.

But I saw his truth, and it hurt deeply, because he couldn’t be honest with me and tell me how he truly felt, so we could not end our relationship amicably.

ABSENT HEARTBEAT

It was only a week, and my heart became one with yours!
We smiled. We laughed.
We even danced our hearts on fire.
We shared a sentiment that only one universe unites.

And then you left!
We parted with bitter, sweet goodbyes!

You told me our love would always live in our hearts and minds.
Only now, we both painfully feel the lonely passage of time!

We just met, and now we are separated
From each other’s arms.
Yet not too far for hearts that are entwined!
And not too far for lovers of one mind!

Oh, how unfair and, yes, so unkind!
Why does it have to be a test each time?
Haven’t we proved our unspoken words or
Isn’t it enough our solemn vows?

I long for your tender lips,
Your hungry heart,
The enduring physical embodiment of your soul
Only to encompass the
Mingling with mine!

I will sip the sweet words you quietly speak,
And believe bravely
To brace these unbearable times!

It is not easy
To count the minutes of each day,
The minutes of each week,
Only to find months that have slipped by!

I look amongst the cold crowds!
I search for your smile!
I look for your chestnut calm,
But wherever you are, you are not there!
I long for your touch to take the emptiness away.
My vision of you is dimming.
Your image is fading fast!
But I will NOT let that be!
I will not let your light extinguish from my mind and being!

Believe me when I say
We must be! We will be!

We must both find a way.
We must both breathe the same breath that will sustain
Us through this sequence of time!

Don’t give up my other half,
Don’t give in to this unquenchable urge,
As we must help each other
Through this difficult passage.

We will find a way to be together.
We must! We have to!
We will transcend this dauntless duration,
We will kiss again. And I will touch your tender soul
With your sweetness leading me to your wailing call!
Only to feel your faint breath so desperate for mine!

I will touch you.
I will soothe you.

I will answer your plea!
I will answer your heart with mine!
I will come to thee
With all the simple joys that will make
Your heart, our heart, happy and whole!

You can order my poetry collection, including this poem, here: Reflections of My Heart.

Reflections of My Heart: Constellations

Reflections of My Heart: Circle of Friends

Reflections of My Heart: Crashing

Reflections of My Heart: City Walls

Reflections of My Heart: Cherished Symphony

Reflections of My Heart: Broken Beliefs

Reflections of My Heart: Blazing

Reflections of My Heart: Angel

Reflections of My Heart: Albatross

Reflections of My Heart: Absent Heartbeat

Inspiration and Hope for People with Cerebral Palsy and Learning Disabilities

Latest from the Blog