Normal

Normal- conforming to a norm, standard, regular, a normal temperature. ( psychol.) Conforming to the standard or average for a particular type or group (loosely) mentally or emotionally sound. (math) Says the New Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus.

So what is “NORmaL” to you?

Being normal to me, is being able to accept myself as I am in totality. It is being able to accept myself as our maker has made me- including all the trails, challenges, and joys of my life. Seen and unseen- It is being able to accept what happened to me when I was only 5 months old. And, it is being able to see the whole of me despite what others may think. Which really is none of my business at all!

My business is to continue to carry on- it is to continue to be the best person I can be no matter what. Normal to me, is learning about myself, and reaching beyond in all area’s of my life- mentally, physically, and spiritually- It is truly being able to see how my maker wanted me, to rise above these challenges, that have not only confronted my spirit, but have shown me who I am, even with my Cerebral Palsy, and a learning disability, and what I could become, achieve, contribute to the world, and rise above…

“Being normal” could also be what we think others want us to be. That we don’t “fit in” or act or speak, or dress a certain way. Normal to one person is not normal to another, as we all see things in our lives, in a different perspective and light. We all have thoughts, and feelings, and issues, that we deal with on all different levels. However, if we could not lay labels, barriers, and stigmas on others human beings, to make them feel ugly, inferior, or desperate inside, because of our own belief system, or what society make us to believe- we would find out that we are “ALL normal”

Everyone is different and unique in their own birthright. You can see some disabilities while not others. Who is it then, for us to judge another person, or say what is “NORmaL” .

Integrity

I got to thinking about this word, integrity, and I realize I have stood behind myself, my words, and my beliefs as a human being, and, a person with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability a hundred percent of the way- throughout my entire life- I have believed in myself when others didn’t. I proved myself even though other didn’t think I could accomplish or achieve. I fought with my own, strong, morel conviction. Not bowing to others with wicket tongues. When I was called “Mentally Retarded”- it hurt- of course it hurt! Very badly- but I gathered my strength within myself, and I made those negative words and statements into positives- with a shield and a sword that could fend of the worst of the worst.

I continue to think to myself… “why is it that I am so pure, honest, direct, and sincere? Why is it that others can’t see that within me. Why is it they cannot acknowledge this or praise me for this or help me in the little way I may need helping?? I ask myself… why can’t people handle my honesty? Is it because the world is not that honest, and they are ONLY out for their own selfish self?

Tell me! Are we living in such a world where people only look out for their own good and do not “reaLLY” care about others, or helping others?

I hate to say this, but I do think so! Yes, there are a handful of us out there… who are willing to help others go the distance, and they open amazing doors for others… they give and share of themselves genuinely and completely. But that is not the norm in our “Competitive” world and society today. My belief has alway been to help the next guy. So together we could live in peace and harmony and make a difference together. There is ALWays room for all of us to have a piece of the pie. There is always room to be happy and spreed that happiness to others! But only if WE are willing to share these gifts with others and do not let our greed, our power, our suave abilities or ego’s to get in the way of our usefulness.

I do not believe in using other’s just to get ahead ourselves. I believe in all good things. I believe in the integrity of helping people to feel good about themselves- I believe in the whole person, and in healing one’s souls- I believe in helping others feel good and worthy of themselves, body, mind, spirit and in heir thoughts and ideas. I believe in genuine kindness- and, I believe in living together in peace and harmony- walking side by side without judgment or fear –

Our world has to much hate and anger in it. It would be so sweet if we could dissolve it like an air balloon letting go of its fuel never to be ever again. I think if we all could contributed just a little, tiny bit every day, in some way, to bring a kind word or deed to others. Our world would start to mend and heal. We would not live in the chaotic way which we do. This act of sharing kindness to others would make a big difference in our society, and contribute to own integrity as a person, a state, a nation, and a universe all around.

My integrity has lasted me all my life, and it will continue, as I am going to keep it for ever more!

Keep on Keeping on

Last night I received a very warm email from a new friend whom I met on the Internet. It warmed the deepest part of my heart because I could feel the words she wrote. “What kind of learning disability” Her words began rejuvenating my soul- lifting my spirits- And as always, her words helped me to see, once again, that all which I do has meaning and purpose and is not in vain-

Yes, I can’t deny the fact that after all these years I’d like to be known or recognized, or be invited as a guest speaker and get reimbursed for going out and delivering these words of peals to all those that want to hear me. I also want to be known for making a huge difference and contribution to other peoples lives.

Oh how I want to give back to the world and to others with disabilities to let them know that they are not alone! It is so vital and important to others and to myself to do this- it sings out to me in melodic form and lyrics, and it brings to mind one of Beethoven’s musical pieces. It tells me over and over again that all of this is so very worth it! All the challenges, all the joys, and all the time in my life I have spent making something of myself.

When my girlfriend wrote these words, I could feel my heart skip a beat, and I knew deep down inside that even if I don’t become a well known keynote speaker, and if I don’t get paid for what I do, that all of my actions here on earth will not go in vain. I know that what I do comes directly from my heart- It come with a sincerity and a goodness within the deeps of my being, to help all that want and ask for it- and It comes from the love inside of me!

Still, after all these years of hard work, effort, determination and action, these kind words are my payment. They are my source of inspiration and reward- they are my hope, and my faith- They are my bread and butter-

My hope is that someday an angel, a miracle, an intervention will come to pass for me- Someone will hear my prayer- some how- somewhere in this all encompassing, competitive, world of ours, some kind soul will recognize me and hear my plea- and my word- and they too will know- they will have been touched- and some-how with their clout they will help me over my bump and hurdle. My continuous hope, and prayer is that this kind someone will find the goodness in their hearts to reach out to me, to make a difference, in not only my life, and help me to open the doors, but ultimately, to help others even more-

I have spent my entire life doing this work that I do for little or nothing and only for “love” in return.

I’d like people to know that I need to do this to live and breathe- It is the air that keeps me going- It is who I am- I need people to know that this is my lifeline- and that I need to do this for not only the good of all man-kind but for my inner-self- it is to be a productive person in society- being able to be independent, self-reliant, self-sustainable by providing and putting my own bread and butter on my own table…

I need the world to know that even people with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability can succeed- and that they can earn and make a living at something they love to do- I need them to know that our bodies may have impairments but our minds have the same needs, wants and desires, as all people- despite what “professionals and experts” make us and other to believe. We can work- especially at something we are good at doing! I need to share this with all my readers, and the world! There is wayyyyyyyyyyy more to living than being labeled, put down negatively, or abused by others who call themselves professionals or bosses- There is far more for us to do than just work in a workshop setting, or sit at home watching t.v. or sitting on the computer to pass the time of day-

I need all you readers out there to know this- I need you to know that I/ we have desires just like everyone else does. I need you all to know that I don’t want to be taken for grated anymore either. For once in my life, I’d like to make it on my own- living in society- working for a living, and being content with-in my own being. I’d like everyone else to know that “I/all” those with disabilities have desires and talents. we can succeed if given a chance and the opportunity to do so- Time and again I have proved myself- I would like not to be taken for granted anymore- or settle for less than what I am worthy of- just because I have a disability doesn’t mean you can step on and over us like dish rags- Yes this anger’s me- it anger’s me very much!

I really need to let you, my readers, know, that I want to make a difference in my own life by making my OWN livelihood, doesn’t matter if I am married or not, I need to feel my own dependency- on and for myself- doing it my way… I want people to know and understand that I have ALWAY paid my own way for everything I have done in my lifetime- I have not begged or pleaded for donation of such for anything like some I’ve come in contact with- I can do anything I put my mind towards doing, and I have proved this fact through my actions time and again-

For once in my life I would like people to know and understand that yes,I do, do this ALWays “from the goodness and unconditional love of my heart”- but that’s where it stops now. That’s the bottom line here and now. I need others to know that I too need to be compensated for my actions and talents and first hand knowledge now- and until people recognize this- and take me seriously I will keep knocking until opportunity knocks-

Until then, I need to keep hearing these words and I need to keep reminding myself to be very grateful-these words are the precious words that are my reward and payment.

They are sweet as sweet can be- And they reaffirm my goodness. They reaffirm my abilities,and they are a direct result to all the action I have taken throughout my entire life to make me who and what I am today. Over and over again when someone says something like this to me, this quiet warm glow comes over me. It make me radiate peace and harmony- and it bathes my being in joy and happiness.

This voice reminds me to not take things for granted and to be grateful for every experience in my life that I have had to ever go through. It also tells me how far I have come, and where I am going- this inner-voice reverberates reveling gentle messages telling me why I do this- and why I keep on keeping on- It reaffirms to me how it “must be”, and why where-ever I am today it’s where I’m suppose to be! Because I would be somewhere else if it were meant to be!

And thus, it makes me feel quiet inside knowing that someone else recognized my goodness and took the time to tell me who I truly am.

I am Only One Person

Time and time again I think to myself how different this world is than when I was a child. How different it is since I was a young adult just starting on my journey. And how different life has changed and is today.

I am only one person, but it would be so nice to see people giving of themselves freely and unconditionally in a genuine way, or to see acts of kindness shared more often. I am only one person in this world we live in, and I will continue to make a difference in man kinds life in which ever way I can.

What Can I Do

This morning I received a Google alert on learning disabilities, and, oh how I wanted to participate and get involved, and work with these people and share with them what I know to enlighten them. However, the position was in England I believed. It was being part of a council and having a voice for all people with LD to make legal changes in our system, and laws, and to help individuals with learning disabilities.

If people would learn to take our word seriously, that would be such a blessing! Not only for all the millions and millions of individuals, but to get real, honest feedback from people who have paid the price mentally, emotionally, or physically, instead of thoughts who have never experienced having a challenge like this at all.

This would be a sincere humbling if organizations, companies, our government, legislation, and leaders would take a positive step forward to hear our voices and put us on committee’s and councils to change the way things are now… It would be a gift to all society and man kind if we were heard and truly listened to.

It would be even sweeter if we were compensated financially for our knowledge and really taken seriously. I personally would fight the good fight to bring all kinds of change to make a huge difference and impact for others as I have done for myself- First I would stop categorizing us with people of down syndrome, mental retardation, ADD and so forth. I would also find a much better word to describe us. I would not use degrading, heart-wrenching titles and labels such as: developmentally delayed or disabled.

I would do all I could to first de-signify people who never chose to be disabled in the first place, or to be labeled. I would start by finding real human ways and approaches to treating us with dignity and respect.

Music in Mind and Body

Music and Dance have been a gift to my life ever since I can remember. I began dancing at the age of 3 1/2 years old. And from the moment I heard my very first piece of music, and performed my very first shuffle bal-change, I knew the difference it was making in my life. It brought a peace, love, and joy to my inner being as well as a self- worth and confidence that have helped me in so many other goals and dreams I have achieved throughout my life

Not only by listing to the sounds and rhythm’s of each music, and melody presented to me, but through share willingness and determination to execute these steps and techniques,accurately, even though my body had a physical impairment and challenge of Cerebral Palsy, did I, or was I able to weep and see not only me developing my abilities, but conquering the challenges before me.

These daily and weekly lesson’s brought to my body, mind, and soul something I have carried with me all these years later. It all began way back when. But before any “expert” knew what positive affects and effect’s it would have on a persons spirit and life, let alone a person with a physical disability or learning disability – I knew the benefits it gave me.

I know how music, and dance have straighten my body, brought peace to my heart, and helped me to develop my coordination and so many other things the “experts” talk about today.

I am only me. I may not have financially been able to conquer my education, or get or be given a degree, because of some “knowledgeable person” who tried to dictate what they wanted for my life. But I have soared, attained, and accomplished goals in my life, without this “piece of paper” they call a degree and I am an expert in my own right.

I know more through personal experience than most “book learned people”. I know first hand how music and dance have helped me. It has not only been physically, but it helped me with my learning and with my thought processes as well.

Never Stop’s

I’ve been on automatic pilot for the last week everyone! I have been writing letter after letter, now, and pounding the pavement while making myself visible by writing letter after letter about the work I do and want to do. If any of you have tips about marketing and networking in a special specific field, would you be so kind as to write me. Thanks.

Getting Around A System That Doesn’t Work

Dear Readers, how awful is this! I got to thinking today how “every” aspect of a disabled or special needs person’s life is scrutinized by “Helpful Experts” who assume God like powers over our goals, our dreams, our thoughts, our abilities, including our wishes to have a livelihood of our own. How dear they step in front of us and block the way of our natural flow. Everything from a career choice, to how we put on our shoes and socks. Better yet, how we even go to the bathroom, is subject to morbid interest and thorough examination. It is critical, meticulous and malicious. Yet, they seem to pull it off.

Our genuine desires as human beings, to led happy, productive lives is intentionally disregarded as they fail to consider our expression of success and happiness. We are never really taken into real consideration. Even if we have some kind of challenge, as a disabled person, our desires to attain our goals or degrees, aught to be recognized and respected. Even if it is just going into work. It would be a joy to have a say so in our destination which society pays no attention or heed to.

This infuriates me to no end, as time, and time, and time again, I have strived, and attempted, and fought for every ounce and every bloody achievement that I have made today. These years of fighting with a system that does not see us as worthy to listen to, have indeed left their scars.

If only our struggles were given the same importance as other suppressed people, it would make life a whole lot easier. Instead, precious years have been frittered and thrown away, down right wasted, trying to get around artificial barrier’s of the worst kind. My dear friends, this struggle is often hidden from people who do not experience it directly, but is no less real.

If I can bring this idea into your heart’s and minds then my life long work and struggle has been worth the while.

What we go though as Disabled People

The hardest part about having a disability is that no one really take us seriously. It is like pulling teeth to be heard as we wish to be heard, and taken into consideration and regarded like the rest of the world. Too many times, we as “disabled individuals” are payed no attention too, ignored, over-looked, and “be programmed” to being nice little individuals, which turn into Convenient robots. This being, because they fear we will loose control and embarrass them. Thus, we who have Cerebral Palsy, a learning disability of Dyslexia, and or any other type of disability are; tossed a bone to keep us pacified, and are patronized, and are regarded as a problem, rather than a asset to our world and our community.

We too often are looked down upon rather than regarded as someone with importance, worth, or value and worthy of attention. We are plighted beyond words because it is easier to ignore our abilities to focus on details. Time and time again I have been aware of others viewing me as a helpless, victim, and not the intelligent, confident person, that I am. We find acceptance from the public and professionals when we are cute little children, and are not a threat to society. But we grow up, have a mind of our own, and desires to fill, that acceptance immediately fades away into nothingness!

Outcome

I do not know what will come of all the letter’s I’ve sent out in the last couple of days to promote myself, and my abilities as a public speaker- but what ever it is, I know that I did not sit back on my tush doing nothing! I know I have moved forward. I know I have put myself and my abilities out there on the line. I know way down deep, within myself, that I have gone beyond and taken all the action I know how to take- I have done my part in thought, spirit and deed- and, there is NO WAY that I am going to stop reaching for that dream of mine! I am going to achieve, and conquer, and keep moving forward to reach MY mountain top, and make it happen for myself. Some how, some way it will be reveled to me! Just like everything else in my life… I just hope it does not take forever! I see many disabled speakers out there. But none who have gone thought what I have with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability, nor fighting for my life. And they are out there speaking and making a living for themselves. So why CAN’T I!!!! I’ll be very honest with myself, dear blog, It would be very, very sweet if someone recognized my true gift and what I have to give to other people and our world to make this a better place for all. It would be a dream come true! It would be the pinnacle of pinnacles, after all the experiences I’ve gone through.