Committing to yourself is hard. People misunderstand and think it means being selfish. It doesn’t. In this post, I will show you the benefits of committing to yourself while finding a healthy balance between self-care and caring for others. These are not mutually exclusive. They can support each other. This will come naturally over time and help you build your self-esteem day by day.

This is me as a little girl. The doctors said I would never walk, but I did. Then they said I would never walk without a brace.

It took a few years, but I learned to dance. Here I am on stage with my dance teacher, the late, great Al Gilbert.

Early in life, I learned to commit myself to achievements I knew would be difficult. I always plunged into whatever the task at hand demanded.

For example, learning to point and flex my left toe. That is something most people take for granted, but I couldn’t. Cerebral palsy had paralyzed my left side. And playing tiny cymbals to exercise the fingers on my life hand seemed impossible at first. The same for playing the piano at my dance teacher’s request. Even though my nervous system would not do what my heart and soul wanted, I did not give up on myself. I never gave up, so I learned.

However, working on myself did not mean I ignored others. From my earliest recollection of helping my dear, sweet mama dust the legs of the coffee table up through my career helping others learn dance and improve their physical condition, I always cared. And I still do.

Accepting my limitations without letting them limit me was the key.

I learned to accept the things I couldn’t do and to work on them. My fingers and toes were paralyzed and the effort demanding, but I pivoted away from the “I can’t” mindset to the “I can”. I never took those attempts lightly. I had to tell myself that I could do anything, and if I couldn’t, then I could do my very best. This was part of my disability pride.

You will come to your own personal crossroads where you will figure out precisely what you need to do for yourself. The decision to do that thing is a decision only you can make. It happens when your heart is ready. Maybe it already has.

I think this way, because this is how it happened to me. It was a gradual process of learning through many life experiences. Along with learning new skills to help both myself and others, I continually reassessed my beliefs about myself. When an idea I had about myself stopped working for me, I had to adjust my thinking to avoid holding myself back with self-limiting beliefs.

In closing, your experiences and life’s journey may differ from mine, but you will understand the need for being true to yourself. Commit to the things that are most important to you in your life; that help you feel happy, safe and free. These are also the things that will help you help others. Always remember, if Karen can do it, you can do it, too.

So I ask you, what are you going to commit yourself to, today?

©2022, Karen Lynn-Chlup

(Photos from author’s personal collection)