Me with the late, great Al Gilbert, performing in my first dance recital at age three. This, after the experts said I would be deaf, dumb, blind, and completely paralyzed.

“I’m a sick, disabled person. I have been since I was born. Please feel sorry for me!”

That is the image the world has been comfortable with, ever since I was an infant. But not me, and no one who knows me. I refused to play that game, working hard to overcome my disabilities.

Many disabled people, although, are comfortable because it is too difficult to make the change happen. Besides, many times, no matter how hard one tries, development doesn’t come at all. Thus, they stay in comfortable roles because it pays off.

“It’s too hard to do what they are asking of me. So, I will flap my arms and legs with uncontrollable outbursts.”

Their limbs tighten the more angry they become. Yelling and screaming, they even jump up and down in their wheelchairs. Many authority figures cater to those who come off this way, afraid of what may happen if they don’t give them what they want. They ignore ‌disabled people who act like intelligent adults who want to make their lives and selves better.

“I can act cute to get my own way and make them ‌feel sorry for me. I can even pretend I have a speech impediment. Or, I can look helpless. I can even behave in a way that suggests a false identity of myself just to get ahead.”

People like this would rather not face reality at all. They think through the roles they play to be pacified, and then act them out. Many of us, including myself, refused to play this game. Instead, we rolled with reality and reason. We showed the people around us that we didn’t have to act that way to function and live in this world. All we want is to fit into the landscape of society, earn a living, be accepted like everyone else and share our love, knowledge and compassion to others.

Looking at your own life, what is a small, concrete action you can take to prove your independence? Please share about it in the comments section below.

Text ©2026 by Karen Lynn-Chlup. Image ©2026 from Karen Lynn’s personal collection.